A bit of a shambles.

Normally we cobble together a squad of bare 11, but with so many missing from the usual bunch, we really cobbled together a big squad. The newbies were James Bowers, Luke Wrightson, Dan Padget, Craig Newby, Chris Green and Glen Lane – however, the latter two had played in 6-a-side and 5-a-side with Green playing a few years ago in an 11-a-side game.

The rest of the squad were “regulars”: Jake Dyke, Marc McDermont, Glenn Whelam, Nelly Richardson, Anthony Yates, Curtis Newbold and Matty Williams.

We scored first. A bit of a howler from the Deaf defence, but we tried our best not to score with Curtis electing to pass to Matty, before his shot was deflected in as an own goal. After this, a clanger from our defence saw Washington equalise and then take a 3-1 lead with more clangers.

Matty got one back at 3-2, but after that, with roll on and off, Sassco suffered and conceded a number of goals. Not the best of games considering it was our first in 2020, but a run out is a run out.

Quote of the game from Nelly Richardson:

“It was that much of a bad performance, that Macca was our Man-of-the-match….”

The post First post-Covid 19 game sees a defeat. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

Drop outs; panic attacks; vintage players returning and a handsome victory.

The usual for Sassco. 12 announced and then slowly whittled back to around 10 – but what a 10!

Before this, it was typical player-power rearing it’s head during the run up to the game. Most wanted to play up top, so I devised a 2-4-4 formation, but we eventually settled for 4-4-2, before changing it to 3-4-2. This was all done via Facebook Messenger I may add – the place where all Sassco tactics and team talks are done.

The game was against Sunderland Deaf FC (our regular Summer opponents) and we started with the 10 men. It was nearly 9 as early on when Whelam headbutted the still hard ground, and was seeing stars. He said his head was killing, but then proceeded to head every ball away throughout the game. Defence was a mix. First half it was Whelam, with McConville and Sangha playing quite deep and Cameron Thompson in goal. We expected a bit of an onslaught, but managed to keep hold of the ball when we had it. Defending deep and in numbers helped our pacey wingers (not forwards).

Talking of forwards; the front block of the team was oozing pace (albeit around ten years back), but now it was an increasingly increasing Harper (the child, not the father) who conned the opponents with his burst of pace. Prior to the game, he demanded that the team be built around him and also demanded a 2XL top. Unfortunately, we only had L and M, so by the end of the game, the one he wore was definitely stretched to a 2XL.

Scott Hembrough was his attacking partner but looked sluggish. Early in the second, he went off and we were back to ten men. He wasn’t injured, but dying for a shite. A few minutes later, he was back and more sprightly having taken a great weight off his mind. He was on top form and even managed to squeeze a through ball past Harper which was no mean feat itself.

The midfield duo was Gav Quinn and “The Spaniard”, Middlemiss, he with the receding, but flowing locks, both controlled the game. The fiery Middlemiss temper soon popped up, when he went in two-footed second half, but the follow up didn’t happen because he was out of pace and breath.

The genuine pace was on the flanks. Jack Curry “I smoke 20 tabs a day” and Ian Canavan both tore the opponents to pieces. First half we were against the wind and the slope of the pitch, but secured a magnificent 8 goals, despite conceding early. The last of the half, being a superb long range effort from Middlemiss, against the disastrous DFC ‘keeper, who was doing his best Marc McDermont impression.

Second saw a break in the clouds and a etheral light beam picked out Tommy Wilkinson, wandering towards the pitch, who answered my desperate SOS on Facebook – a place normally showing ugly kids eating food (usually smeared on their face), and some cunt in Gateshead sharing a missing person post from Houston, Texas. Tommy hadn’t kicked a ball in anger for Sassco since the mid 2000s, but slotted in perfectly on the flanks (allowing Scotty H to take a shite).

Not sure who got the goals. Scotty H got 1. Middlemiss scored 2, while Gavin Quinn got 4 or 5. Canavan and Curry both got the rest. However, Harper bagged a hat-trick, much to the inevitable anger from his dad, the real Tash, who never scored hat-tricks for me.

The post Sassco.co.uk 15 (fifteen) Sunderland DFC 6. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

Avoiding the wire above the pitch and Bear avoiding the goal.

There were a couple of challenges in our repeat game v Sunderland Deaf: Avoiding hitting the two pieces of wire which were elongated just above head height on the pitch, and making sure the wire which tied Harper in defence from snapping and seeing him hurtle forward.

The side we had was better than the last time. Up top it was Col Robson and Nelly, while the midfield had Greener, Bear and Lee Cresswell, making his first showing for Sassco since 2008, when he played in a big win against the same team (report here). The rest of the players were a bit undecided. We had myself and Harper in defence, but Cam Thompson, last times’ goalkeeper was full back as Davey “Pie Chops” Smith was in goal. Bear managed to rope in John Tindall, who turned up looking like the paper round had taken it’s toll. Two were missing and didn’t show up, so it was a few emergency calls and then Davey Smith’s Elliot Wright answered the call and was there ten minutes into kick off.

By then, we were 2-0 down, including one from hitting the wire, but creating an astonishing amount of chances, including a corker for Bear, which we’re not allowed to mention. For almost the entire half it was 2-0, until the 43rd minute when we scored. A minute later it was 2-2. Col Robson and Nelly scoring.

Second half we took control. Barely 10 minutes had passed before we were 4-2 up. A few defensive lapses saw them claw back to keep within distance, but in the end we ran out 8-4 winners. In total, Bear got one (eventually). Elliot, Col and Cresswell got one each, while Tindal and Nelly hit two each. Harper claimed he’d bag any of the chances, but ended up nearly losing the ball a few times with his shots.

Below: Tactical Analysis of James Collinson’s opportunity in the first half.

The post Sassco.co.uk 8 Sunderland Deaf AFC 4 appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

The Harpers return and both last a full game (nearly).

Our O35’s 11-a-side adventure ended in a whimper, so it was good to be invited to a full 90 minute session against the Sunderland Deaf AFC team a week later.

The side was mixed, and when I say “mixed” I really mean it. Up popped the Young Tash, John Harper looking like he’d been stealing all the pies delivered to Muers’ house before they reached his front door. Shockingly, The Tash returned as well. The number of times The Tash said he was going to play / manage / come-along-to-watch and didn’t turn up sent me in panic mode. However, he was true to his word and slid the medium sized Sassco top over his lean (in comparison to his son’s) body. This was the first time he’d donned a Sassco jersey since 2009, when he was part of the Portugal Tour 2009 in a 1-1 draw v Juventude SC. He was due to play the following day in Portugal against FC Ferreiras, but injured himself…when diving into the swimming pool. Muers was also coming along and demanded not to play in defence, which he ended up doing for the whole game (haha, Emu).

Sanity was added to the team with James Collinson, Kyle Burns (son of Steve, who played briefly in the O35s), as well as Cameron Thompson in goal (who played a basketball game years ago for Sassco). Luke Willis (dragged along by Young Tash), while Steve Davison (again from the O35s) was added. Dixon was slotting in as centre half, while McDermont, bumming boots again, with Nelly, finished the line up. Dave Gourlay was touted to turn up, but as he wrote “interested” in the Facebook event meant he wasn’t going to bother.

Game kicked off and we did okay. It was roll on and off, so positions were shifted around. Surprisingly, The Tash didn’t want to come off after a few seconds and proved that he never lost it. However, up top, we narrowly got caught in some offside positions, but Young Tash used his ample frame to bulldoze past the ample Deaf ‘keeper to make it 1-0. They equalised late on in the first, just as we thought we’d cleared our lines.

Second half saw a number of chances at either end, as well as a good penalty shout. Unfortunately, they soon went 2-1, then 3-1 up, before Nelly struck late on to cause a scramble. Realistically, we should have been 3-3. The Tash, taking a free-kick, rolled back the years and attempted to also hit in a double-header, but the ‘keeper saved. Macca missed a glorious one at the death as we walloped long balls into the channels.

Young Tash spent the rest of the afternoon in A&E, but not with The Tash, as you’d expect, but with Luke Willis, who injured himself. All the young ones and some of the old ones did well. However, it was an experience watching both Tash’s playing together for Sassco. But after missing a few chances, I reckon Young Tash will be well and truly placed on the naughty step tonight in the Harper Household.

The post Sassco.co.uk 2 Sunderland Deaf AFC 3 appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

A game requested by Sunderland Deaf FC, who are taking part in a the Rudolph 5-a-side tournament in Derby, was arranged at the outdoor pitches at Everyone Active Washington.

The Sassco team comprised of Davinder Sangha* and Jake Dyke taking turns in goal, with Curtis Newbold and David Bilton, all who took part in the last 11-a-side game against Sunderland Deaf FC. Newcomer Dom Brown also took part against a strong Deaf FC team featuring Gavin James, Lee Curry in goal and Ronaldo.

While David Bilton was stuck in a queue in ASDA, the game started slowly, but once he arrived, the team performed well, but soon were goals down. The deficit increased before a last ditch attempt to claw back the result saw Sassco score a number of goals with no reply, eventually succumbing to a 9-7 defeat, with Sunderland Deaf AFC scoring in the final moments of the game.

* Image shows Microsoft Band tracking information for Davinder Sangha – majority spent in goal.

The post 5-a-side defeat against Sunderland Deaf AFC. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

Our regular tri or bi-annual game took place again, but this time off the 3G (or is it 4G) and on to grass at Castle View, where we suffered a defeat against O’Brien a few weeks back.

Only Dixon and Sangha remained from the irregular squad, with Curtis Newbold coming in for his second game and Dave Bilton back. All the others were new or out-of-date. Neil Middlemiss was main returnee, having last played a game for Sassco back in 2005. Craig Charlton also returned having played against the Deaf back in February 2015. The midfield comprised of debutante Lewis Muir, Neil Middlemiss, Connor Llewellyn (back for his second game) and Curtis. Defence was Michael Ross making a debut, after a number of appearances in the 6-a-side leagues. Sangha, Dixon and another starter, Aden Bannister, with Jake Dyke flapping in a debut in goal.

Despite wearing our smart new Awdis football shirts, which supplied and printed by Workwear Express, as always, and including the Now Cosmetic sponsor logo (Botox anyone?) we played like a team which didn’t know each other – which is what we were. Deaf hit two goals as we were swamped. However, there were hopeful signs. Charlton, now looking as if the red shirt was painted on him, hit a superb free-kick against the crossbar. At 2-0 down, Lewis Muir scraped in a goalmouth melee when all looked lost. Connor Llewellyn secured his “Scouse Zidane” moniker as he looped in a goal from distance and despite conceding a stupid goal in-between, we clawed in another one before the half time.

Second saw more goals, but poor defending. Sassco eventually went down fighting at 9-7, coming back on a number of occasions but not quite getting there. Jake struggled in goal, while Ross and Bannister, both started shakily, but eventually turned out to be strong performers. Llewellyn, in total, scored two alongside two from Muir. Newbold, Bilton and Charlton fired in solo efforts. Someone stood on Newbold’s hand which resulted in an expanded Marvel Superhero looking hand. Bet it hurt, though.

Message from Neil Middlemiss after the game: “Dov, can you check your kit bag, I think my legs are left in there….” Welcome back, Spaniard.

The post Cricket score = bad defences. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

McDermont’s 35 yard “screamer”.

Our bi- or tri-annual game against Sunderland AFC’s Deaf team took place at Chester-Le-Street, and shockingly, we had more than a full turn out.

A total of fifteen players turned up from Sassco’s past – even Macca.

The cobwebs and turkey were well and truly dusted off as I managed to bike it to the ground with the whopping great Sassco bag on my back (including a ball). It was raining, but with the starting line up already set, we struggled in the opening as the rain lashed down. A mix up from Dixon (who apart from that was outstanding all game) saw Sunderland Deaf FC strike first. We were still disjointed, but Stephen Lewis fired in the equaliser. Lack of strong defending led to a superb goal from Sunderland and the half ended with Sassco being 2-1 down (and not too pleased)

In the second, I made four substitutes, with McConville, Gourlay, Baxter and Hembrough coming on to replace McDermont, Middlemiss, Charlton and someone else (I really can’t remember). Instantly, the team improved and soon we grabbed an equaliser from Titch. He went on to score another, while Cresswell broke his virginity and scored. It was good to see Snake Hips Hembrough and Cresswell in attack, as that will be the forward line up for the SAFC game in May. Gourlay and Baxter also combined well, but best goal of the night came when Macca pounced on a loose ball and tried his hardest to hit the post. It eventually squeezed in off the post and, unfortunately, the referee allowed it.

A good game and a good run out for the New Year. The team even managed to source their own white shorts and socks so I had no need to panic.

The post Sassco.co.uk 5 Sunderland Deaf FC 2. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

Our regular run out against Sunderland Deaf was a bit short notice, as their cup game was cancelled. However, two days before the game, the Sassco.co.uk squad was coming together and three debutantes joined the “regular” squad.

Ex-professionals, Martin Smith and David Duke joined the squad, while Martin’s son, Lewis, also came in. The team comprised of the two Simpsons, Muers, Gourlay, Charlton, McDermont and Turnbull (in his second outing). Macca and Gourlay were returning after a long absence of not turning up.

The weather dropped, but the tempo didn’t increase as Sassco took the lead. However, crazy defending (not by Sangha) and the inability to clear from the back led to constant replies from the DFC team, who were featuring Gavin James, one of our ex’s. This meant that they had a bit more bite. They also had Ronaldo and Curry playing for them, who assisted us last time. This time, Ronaldo spat his dummy out and walked off in the first half, but turned up later in the second.

We took a lead, eventually, so it was around 5-3 (or something like that, in the first half). Young Lewis bagged a couple of goals, while Muers scored a scorcher. Struggling to remember who scored either side of the half, but Charlie got some and Macca got some. Charlie eventually got 4, while Macca, predicting a hat-trick before the game to me and me replying to him, “fuck off you daft cunt!” actually got it.

Second half saw a comfortable lead by around five goals, before the foot was taken off the pedal, and the wind taken out of our lungs. Duke and Smith, predictably, ran the show in the middle, but amazingly neither scored, with Duke coming close on several occasions. We had so many chances, it was inevitable that they came back to within one goal in the last few minutes, but we were reasonably comfortable and were happy to conclude the game.

Charlie eventually scored 4 goals, McDermont got 3 (somehow – although one was deflected), Lewis got 2 (both in the first half), while Muers and Gourlay had one each.

The post Sassco.co.uk 11 Sunderland Deaf FC 10. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

Victory again. Charlie doesn’t score.

A bit of a headache today, as we had so many drop outs for our regular football game against Sunderland Deaf FC. One by one, Si, Karl and Jase dropped out for varying reasons, while Stoker and Macca didn’t even bother to respond. This meant we were left with the core of the Sassco team: Simpson, Sangha, Muers, Dixon, Brook, Charlton, Conlin and Barker. Mark Turnbull came in as a late addition during the game, while we borrowed two players from Sunderland Deaf FC, known as ‘Pele’ and ‘Ronaldo’.

Despite floating about with ten players for the majority of the first half, we took the lead at 1-0, but were pegged back to 1-1, when Simma, avoiding some dog shit, swerved out of the way of the ball. Eventually we hit back to make it 2-1, just as Mark Turnbull turned up, and around ten minutes later, he was still getting ready when we went 3-1 ahead. Eventually it was 4-1, and we had the full complement of eleven players for the second half.

Sassco, being arse about face, meant that I did the match team talk at half time: “Don’t give away corners, goalside….” usual blurb.

Which Titch ignored to give away a corner in the second half. They made it 4-2, but immediately, we hit back with a long range effort from Ronaldo. Charlie was truly outshone today, with Ronaldo choosing his own positions and having everyone else run around after him, just in case he lost the ball. Muers pushed himself upfront and played with his strike partner, Pele. At one stage, Muers in space was screaming for the ball, conveniently forgetting his strike partner was deaf.

It was 6-2 in the end. Ronaldo kicked off with one of his own players (from Sunderland Deaf) after scoring again. Can’t really remember who scored. Baxter finished off another ‘Muers missing from 10cm out’ effort, while Titch missed some sitter. Muers and Charlie were having a competition to see who could sky it. Simma got lobbed….again.

The post Sunderland Deaf 2 Sassco.co.uk 6. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

A new year and another win for Sassco 11-a-side, who are now unbeaten in nearly two years.

Sunderland Deaf Football Club were the opponents and the venue changed time due to Castle View being waterlogged, to the plush surroundings of Chester-le-Street, and the sumptuous 3G pitch.

Squad was cobbled together again, with drop outs and late additions, seeing Simon Williamson, Michael Conlin, Michael Forsythe, Karl Lockwood, Mike Barker (aka Max Baxter) all making Sassco débuts. It looked just that way, when in the first few moments, DFC nearly scored from a mix up at the back. Normal service resumed and goals from Conlin, Brook and Charlton put Sassco 3-1 ahead. They were pegged back 3-2 to conclude the half, but in the second, the team raced ahead, with more goals from Charlton (another hat-trick), Conlin and Baxter (plus an own goal from Deaf FC).

Only downside was Muers and his ample frame getting lobbed by the same player, TWICE, like he did last time. However, due to complaints from Muers, we have to mention his fabulous save, late in the second half, when all Sassco players turned towards the centre spot, expecting a goal to be conceded.

The post Sassco.co.uk 8 Sunderland Deaf 3. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.