Murton’s chaos delivers a result. Sangha is humiliated in front of a large crowd.

Murton and Robinson proved their worth in front of the big crowd of around ten people. Sangha’s team folded and collapsed within minutes of Nelly making his first complaint.

Fulwell Buccaneers 8 Downhill Impact 0
After last week’s diabolical capitulation against Sassco, a result which nearly drove Murton into administration (as he was banking on the £5 win for the mini-competition to cut down his entrance costs), this week saw the team much improved. Yes Trigger has been banned from all football and put on the sex offenders list, so Murton “stole” Kev McCluskey from Nissan and put Carl “Carlos” Middlemiss outfield.

Their opponents, Downhill Impact, were struggling. It was left to Simma to run the team and the first tactical error occured when he put himself outfield and the portly Bri Marley in goal. The result was never in doubt. The Murton / Robinson double act was finally producing the goods, as well as its own homoerotic undertones with both players working off each other. Jimmy Raeper got in on the act with two goals, but Kyle finally let go of the “over the hill” shackles with a hat-trick. Carlos, Woody and Bunta added the other goal.

Nissan 8 Sassco.co.uk 2
A disaster for Sassco. Even as the whistle was blowing, Nelly was in full whinge blow because I couldn’t manage to prize Ronaldinho away from his day off to take apart a strong Nissan side. Even Logan was struggling with errors and will no doubt be self harming again tonight. Saying that – Nissan were well on form and fully deserved their “favourites” tag. Just as Nelly had finished his first stage whinge, they scored and soon racked up five goals in the first half. Sassco didn’t know what to do with themselves. The second wasn’t much better. Sassco did score two, but Nissan had notched up eight goals by then. Mark Moon scored a hat-trick, Mark Catcheside scored two, along with Calvert. Josh Lay only managed the one.

It’s quite obvious that the challenge is a two horse race. Murton’s minions against the ultra-professional Nissan. Josh Lay claims that despite Murton’s revival, “they haven’t got a chance. And that Kyle. I’ll tell you what – I’ve seen aircraft carriers turn faster than him.”

Note that you can now access more player and team statistics in the League Table and Results page. Simple click on to the team name (in results and the table) and then a little drop down menu will appear showing additional options. It’s still under construction, but seems to be functional.

The post It’s Murton v Lay. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

An opening day disaster in every sense of the term.

We were already quite short. Gourlay and Graham were missing. Tim and Campbell weren’t there and Marky Mark was also absent. In place we had Wayne Ramsay and Steve Stubbs helping out.

However, it wasn’t some much the 2-0 defeat, but the complete indiscipline late on. We were getting butchered in the surprisingly goalless first half, but after Tyson had put Cambridge 1-0 ahead in the second half, we had our best moments. Titch, coming back from injury, looked threatening, but missed two glorious chances. Stoker, playing in attack, saw his header shave the post.

It was then that the nastiness came out. Stoker and Nelly were at each others throats. Nelly was playing with an injury, so he had his excuses. Stoker walked off with two minutes remaining after Cambridge scored their second goal.

Stoker, Richardson, Farquhar and Langan will be absent from the next game due to the fact that in my team talk, I clearly stated players won’t be playing if they don’t help with the nets. I’ll stick to my guns.

Harper also failed to show as he had to arrange a hospital visit.

The post Sassco.co.uk 0 Cambridge Hotel 2. appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.

A good second half is thwarted by missed chances.

I was the first one there. I arrive long before kick off at around 4:50pm and instead of twiddling with my dipstick, I got the ladder out and put both nets up (one with the help of Daz Snowball).

By the time they were up; still no players. Was it going to be one of those Wednesdays again? Not likely. Everyone showed (even Stoker, Graham, Kyle and Gourlay). I needed a strong side out against Hylton CW and I got it. However, Jimmy was missing for the opening half, so I elected for a 4-5-1 formation. Macca was on up front on his own.

The game was blank for a god twenty minutes until Hylton CW struck from the spot after Stoker swung his leg. Not too long after, Tim (Yes, Tiger Tim) was deceived by the full back and they were 2-0 up. We did have chances. Macca had a glorious one created by Nelly, then Nelly himself was tackled in the box, complaining that no one gave him the shout (what do you expect in a packed box? Turn and shot in one movement like I always do…).

A lot of whinnying and complaining at half time. A lot of it directed at me for removing Paul McConville (who actually took a bit of a knock and was on the sidelines for a few minutes in the first half) and putting Jimmy on in a 4-4-2 formation. Me being my usual self told all the bitches to stick it and fuck off if they didn’t like it. The signs weren’t too good. Players were blaming the tactics, the length of the grass, the fact that some blue shirts were long sleeve and some were short. The point I’m trying to get a across is that these idiots will blame anything else apart from the real reason why we were 2-0 down. We didn’t get tight, we didn’t get tight at them and we didn’t snap at ankles. And we didn’t take what limited chances we had in the opening half.

Second half proved I was right. I actually had Nelly on the right hand side, but Macca wanted to switch, after he missed a sitter in the first half. He actually jumped like Mr. Burns when Nelly played in a perfect cross.

We went at Hylton CW and created numerous chances. Nelly, clean through, saw his chance blocked. Macca had two or three chances. Muers and Dave Graham headed direct to the ‘keeper. At the back we weren’t even troubled at all. We simply marked and stuck tight the way we always should. Tim, who had a bit of a howler in the first was excellent in the second. Stoker eventually pushed up with Macca back to try and grab a goal, but it was not to be.

A great second half, but it shows the difference and why Hylton CW are up there. They take their chances.

As a footnote, a few players didn’t pay their subs and are in some arrears now. If effort isn’t made to reduce it, then it’s likely they will be on the bench until back in the black. Emu’s not getting much left over to get a pizza these days.

Community North Sports Complex
League Division 1
Hylton CW 2
Sassco.co.uk 0
Sassco.co.uk: Dave Simpson, Gareth Stoker, Simon Mulvaney, Tim Gillespie, Mark Muers*, Paul McConville (David Raeper), Dave Gourlay, Neil Richardson, Kyle Robinson, Dave Graham

The post Sassco.co.uk 0 Hylton CW 2 appeared first on Sassco.co.uk.