DF FC 6 Sassco.co.uk 4.

Sangha and Hembrough with his award.

Day 3, the final day of the tour. I was up at 7:00am and by 8:00am was making my way to McDonalds for breakfast. Nothing was open so I was reduced to sandwiches from the supermarket. Most were up and ready. Greenwell and Muers weren't and I looked a bit unusual banging on their door to tell the dickheads to wake up.

Eventually everyone was up and we travelled to the Hotel Alfamar grass pitch. We were presented with perfect luxury changing rooms. Muers was unable to play due to injury, excess weight and a mammoth blister. Harper had done his calf in and could barely walk.

Marky Mark - Action Man.

They went 3-0 up before Scott Hembrough grabbed a goal. Eventually they added another one and we looked finished. In the second half, we upped our game and got back into it. We missed so many one-on-one chances, that I got worked up again. Must be the heat. Marky was non-stop running all day. Scott Hembrough scored a long range effort to reduce it to 4-2, but they scored again. Then Hembrough added his hat-trick. Si then handled the ball on the line, but wasn't sent off. Dave Smith, fresh from his leg over, saved the penalty and we broke with me laying the ball to Hembrough and then Cresswell, livening up his failure of a tour so far to strike our fourth.

I had a nice rant at Cresswell which lasted about five minutes. If it isn't the cold, it's the heat.

Greenwell prepares to take a free-kick.

Unfortunately, we couldn't add to it and they scored at the death. Hembrough was awarded the Player of the Tour award for Sassco from the referee, who did all three games.

Sangha takes one of his long(ish) throws and Dave Gourlay shows off the gift from the opponents.

The slow stroll back after the game.

On the night, there were more shenanigans. Muers suffered quite heavily, while Greenwell is classed as a permanent victim. Back at the hotel, we relaxed besides the pool. Muers decided to jump in and was almost frozen. Greenwell refused - until Cresswell pushed him in. He got out and dried himself off before Muers reached up and dragged him back in, towel, cigarettes and all. Like I said; he's a victim.

Greenwell was burning with a desire for revenge most of the day and decided that the line had to be crossed. He asked me to download some pornographic material off the Internet, because he wanted to masturbate, then ejaculate into a small empty bottle of mouthwash. I told him he could masturbate over a picture of Emu instead. Anyway, the disgusting deed was done and while at our evening meal (which took ages to arrive), he deposited it into Cressy's now cloudy beer.

Cressy was paranoid about things happening and we were in agony watching him hold the pint and put it down. Finally he did the deed.

On the night he got his own back. He urinated into a shot glass and Greenwell drank it. Also Muers suffered on the evening when he dropped off to sleep in Cresswell's room saying "I'm not falling asleep, I'm not falling asleeeeeeep..." He was toothpasted over his head. He sort of had revenge as the following day. Cresswell suffered from toothache as he had no toothpaste left during the tour. All of it went on Greenwell's face the previous night and Muers' head this night.

All during the tour, unknown culprits wandered around the corridors banging on the flat door alarm switches. Very inconvenient for those responsible types trying to get asleep. So for the final night, I smeared my piss on the flat panel. Could have been worse; my original plan was to have a cup of piss ready and the first ring to be heard, I would have opened the door thrown the cup over the culprit and simply closed the door again.

Day 4 | The return journey.

Talking about the voyage home the following day. Everyone was ready apart from Muers and Greenwell. We actually left them, until Cressy, probably due to him ingesting Greenwell's jizz, didn't have the heart and persuaded the driver to go back for them. He did and we were horrendously late. The EasyJet check-in desk was packed. We did manage to get there and have a bite to eat before the brief flight home.

That's it for Portugal. Thanks to all the players and Gary Thomas at Algarve Football Tours for all the help. This was his first "official" tour as a business and we think he did a cracking job with the organisation.

The 2010 destination isn't fixed yet. Tel Aviv in Israel is my preferred destination, but realistically, it's going to be the South of France or Spain. Cyprus and Greece could also be possible destinations. Will keep all posted.

Portugal Tour | Day 3.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 18th October 2009

Portugal 2009.18 10 09 2nsp 309

DF FC 6 Sassco.co.uk 4. Day 3, the final day of the tour. I was up at 7:00am and by 8:00am was making my way to McDonalds for breakfast. Nothing was...Read More

Portugal Tour | Day 2.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 18th October 2009

Portugal 2009.17 10 09 5 Teamnsp 309

FC Ferreiras 0 Sassco.co.uk 2. A more relaxed morning. The long day the night before took it out of us. Si and Hembrough were having breakfast at a place called Betty...Read More

Portugal Tour | Day 1.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 17th October 2009

16 10 09 1nsp 309

Juventude Sport Campinense 1 Sassco.co.uk 1. As expected, the paranoia kicked in about 6:00pm on the Thursday evening. I must have sent around seven or eight (or more) texts to everyone...Read More

Portugal weather.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 15th October 2009

Weathernsp 309

Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Sunny Max: 26°C 79°F Sunrise: 07:40 Sunny Max: 26°CSunrise: 07:41 Sunny Max: 25°CSunrise: 07:42 Sunny Max: 26°CSunrise: 07:43 Wind, humidity, pressure and visibility Wind: ESE 11mphHum: 43% Press: 1017mB Vis: Good Wind: E 17mphHum: 43% Press:...Read More

Venue change for Ferreira's g…

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

Portugal 2009.fc Ferreira Pitchnsp 309

As mentioned earlier, for the second game (on Saturday), we will now be on 3G turf now, as FC Ferreira's first team will be playing on the main pitch. We'll...Read More

Sunday afternoon bar.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

Portugal 2009.bar Sundaynsp 309

We play our host, Gary Thomas' team on Sunday just before lunchtime. Afterwards, we'll be at the Bar Solar Da Palanicie near the football pitch at Alfamar where we can...Read More

In the newspaper in Portugal.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

Algarve Residentnsp 309

More publicity in Portugal. Algarve Resident, the local newspaper (online and in print) for the area, will be featuring Sassco's tour. Thanks to Inês Lopes at the newspaper and also Gary Thomas...Read More

On the radio in Portugal.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

Pleased to announce that the local radio station, KISS FM Algarve will be mentioning our tour and also the match details up to and on game days. When we were in...Read More

Hospitality in Portugal on Fr…

Portugal Tour 2009 - 10th October 2009

After our late game on Friday (the day we land in Portugal), we've been invited into the restaurant/bar in the Imortal Stadium, as they have put on chicken and chips for after the...Read More

Portugal Tour flag.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 29th September 2009

Flag Samplensp 309

When in Malta, we didn't have any flag or banner to fly from the hotel room or to drape Muers in. For Portugal, we've obtained a two metre wide banner with...Read More

27 days until Portugal.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 18th September 2009

27daysnsp 309

With only 27 days remaining until the tour, a few final arrangements have been sorted. The times for the games have been set. The opening game will take place at 8:30pm...Read More

Portugal Tour 2009 venues.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 6th August 2009

Portugal 2009.imortal Turf1nsp 309

Two new pictures of the Municipal 3G pitch, courtesy of tour operator, Gary Thomas. This is the venue for our Friday afternoon game against Juventude Sport Campinense/Loulé. Looks quite impressive...Read More

About the organisers

Portugal Tour 2009 - 13th July 2009

Portugal 2009.algarve Football Tours Logonsp 309

The driving force behind the tour has been myself (Davinder Sangha) as well as all the players who came on the Malta Tour 2009. I expected Malta to be a...Read More

Portugal Tour pennants

Portugal Tour 2009 - 6th July 2009

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Remember the pre-match handshakes when we played our three games in Malta? We received pennants and emblems from the opponents, while all Dave Gourlay could offer was a handshake and a...Read More


Portugal Tour 2009 - 14th June 2009

Portugal 2009.juventudensp 309

16th October (Friday) Juventude Sport Campinense/Loulé 8:30pm Municipal 3G pitch 17th October (Saturday) FC Ferreiras 5:00pm Estadio Da Nora 18th October (Sunday) Destination Football FC 11:00am Hotel Alfamar pitch  

Full tour costs now published

Portugal Tour 2009 - 14th June 2009

Portugal 2009.portugal Index Logonsp 309

The costings for the tour are in. The total to pay overall is £258 per person based on the 13 who are travelling. Obviously, you take off the deposit paid...Read More

Opponents and venue changed.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 11th June 2009

Portugal 2009.nora Standnsp 309

Slight change on the schedule. Friday we play v Juventude on an artificial pitch next to the actual Municipal Stadium, but not in the stadium itself.  Saturday we play v FC Ferreiras...Read More

The venues

Portugal Tour 2009 - 3rd June 2009

Portugal 2009.imortal Turf1nsp 309

On Friday 16th October, our game will take place at the Municipal 3G venue against Juventude Sport Campinense. The pitch is a third generation artificial turf which is FIFA approved...Read More

Portugal Tour shirt.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 16th May 2009

Portugal Shirt Smallnsp 309

The new Portugal Tour 2009 shirt is as shown in the image. The brand is Adidas (obviously) and the sizes are based on the requests made by the individual player...Read More

Flights and hotel

Portugal Tour 2009 - 8th May 2009

038816 Hb A 001nsp 309

FlightsThe flights are by easyJet and take off from Newcastle. Friday 16 OctoberCheck in opens Fri 16 Oct 04:20
 Closes Fri 16 Oct 05:40 We need to ensure that we...Read More

Squad details

Portugal Tour 2009 - 8th May 2009

Smithnsp 309

01 Dave SmithReturns as goalkeeper for the tour. Currently playing for Sassco on Saturday when the manager gets one of his sadistic moments and forces Simpson to play outfield. An...Read More

Football venues

Portugal Tour 2009 - 26th March 2009

Portugal 2009.2707166338 0a7b5303b8nsp 309

Football venues provisionally confirmed in Portugal     Municipal Estadio de Albufeira.It's likely that we'll be playing on this pitch on Friday evening. Municipal Estadio de Albufeira.We'll be on the same pitch on Sunday.     Hotel...Read More

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