FC Ferreiras 0 Sassco.co.uk 2.

The team lined up before the controversial win over FC Ferreiras.

A more relaxed morning. The long day the night before took it out of us. Si and Hembrough were having breakfast at a place called Betty Boop, next to the pub which was due to have the SAFC game on. Me and Harper wandered along and tasted the local cuisine and culture by choosing something called "a full English."

No sign of the others until we got back to the hotel. Cresswell claimed he'd had a blow job off someone who Muers later described as looking like Kenwyne Jones. Muers himself was nearly involved in a flare up when his bosom buddy told a big, scary looking bloke he was a cage fighter. The bout was due to take place on Saturday night. Emu also encountered a Transvestite. Think he got his or hers number.

The long walk to the pick-up point.

The squad relax before the game to watch Ferreiras first team in action.

The flag goes up. Note Dixon's duds. Apparently, he wore the same ones for all four days.

A few cliques were beginning to show within the team. Dave Smith clearly had Cressy as his "bitch." He's began to force Cressy to make his breakfast as well as tidying up his apartment room. Although when Cressy didn't do a good job, Dave emptied his suitcase on the floor. We also discovered that the theory of Cressy's gullibility is true. The theory is that if two people say the same thing, he believes it. I convinced him that we were playing the afternoon game on concrete, and by the time we'd walked a hundred metres I had told him it was indoors in a gym hall and we were going to play two games on Sunday; back-to-back.

Cresswell taking a throw in.

In the Dixon, McConville, Gourlay room, Dixon had been relegated to a cold cubby hole while McConville and Gourlay were in the separate, warmer section. "Three's a crowd" said Dave G, while the exciteable Dixon tried to snuggle amongst them. Paul is also increasingly being referred to as a "Mincer" A term coined up by Mulvaney. The whole squad is frightened to be accused of this now.

Half time team talk with Sassco firmly in command.

After breakfast, we went on a wild goose chase to find Harper some cheap sun tan lotion. An hour out, we still didn't have any, so it was pool time. Harper then made a critical error and decided to jump into the pool. The only way I can describe it is like someone hoying a house into the pool. The error he made was that he did his calf in and spent the rest of the day walking around like a Tellitubbie. It was at this time that Emu had to bum more cash.

We caught the Sunderland game at a local bar and then trailed up to be picked up. We arrived at the FC Ferreiras stadium and had time to watch a local, lower division game containing plenty of diving and play acting and typical Latin temperament.

I was warned by Gary Thomas that our opponents today, FC Ferreiras (a representative team) would complain to the referee constantly. However, the game wasn't too bad. Greenwell fired in a bullet free-kick to put us ahead. Ironically, we performed poorly. Passing was terrible and we never picked out the right man. Eventually, Scott Hembrough scored the second goal and we were coasting.

By the second half, Emu had to come off after an inept performance, with him suffering blisters. I came on and it kicked off (not literally, but metaphorically). We were closing in on a second goal as we now started to dominate, when Dave Gourlay had a tangle with their player. They shook hands and it was over, but then the Manager of Ferrieras (who was playing) started saying, "Any more and game abandoned." Shockingly it occurred. Much to the bemusement of his players, he walked off and said it was abandoned. This time I steamed in calling him a "soft bastard" "Soft Shite" and probably "Mincer" somewhere in there.

I have a theory why it was called off. Back in 1961, India expelled the Portuguese from Goa using military action. The Portuguese weren't pleased, but they could do f**k all. Once their manager saw me coming on, he though not again. There's no way our 2-0 win over Ferreiras would be classed as the biggest thing to happen since the 1961 victory and bottled it. That's my theory anyway. It's probably bollocks and the Ferreiras Manager was simply an aforementioned "Mincer".

We had a few cold drinks in the bar afterwards where I was given a Ferreiras pennant. Harper dared me to burn it infront of them.

Party night. We all went to the Old Town and had a large meal and then over to some local bars. I drunk more than I normally do and started to feel the effects. Scotty H had left straight after the meal as his guts were rumbling. Greenwell discovered some Lesbians in a bar and was compelled by them (video footage of his wide eyed reaction uploaded soon). Marky and Bianca left just after midnight so I did the same. Was fine and relaxed in bed looking forward to some sleep when I began to throw up my guts. Did me a world of good. Bit light headed, but then the wankers started to ring the door bell when they started floating in. "A farce!" mumbled the comatose Harper in his sleep.

The main points scored in the evening was Davey Smith bringing a bird back to his room. Greenwell asked for some and was told, "f**k off you little twerp!" Greenwell also made the fatal mistake of falling asleep in Cressy's room. He was completely smothered in toothpaste, chocolate and ice. He had a Crunchie bar and Maltesers rammed up his backside and ice cubes stuck in as well. It was all caught on video and his screams were unearthly. A modified video will be posted shortly.

Also, I'll be banging on the dick heads' doors 9:00am in the morning. Revenge is sweet.

Portugal Tour | Day 3.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 18th October 2009

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DF FC 6 Sassco.co.uk 4. Day 3, the final day of the tour. I was up at 7:00am and by 8:00am was making my way to McDonalds for breakfast. Nothing was...Read More

Portugal Tour | Day 2.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 18th October 2009

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FC Ferreiras 0 Sassco.co.uk 2. A more relaxed morning. The long day the night before took it out of us. Si and Hembrough were having breakfast at a place called Betty...Read More

Portugal Tour | Day 1.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 17th October 2009

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Juventude Sport Campinense 1 Sassco.co.uk 1. As expected, the paranoia kicked in about 6:00pm on the Thursday evening. I must have sent around seven or eight (or more) texts to everyone...Read More

Portugal weather.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 15th October 2009

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Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Sunny Max: 26°C 79°F Sunrise: 07:40 Sunny Max: 26°CSunrise: 07:41 Sunny Max: 25°CSunrise: 07:42 Sunny Max: 26°CSunrise: 07:43 Wind, humidity, pressure and visibility Wind: ESE 11mphHum: 43% Press: 1017mB Vis: Good Wind: E 17mphHum: 43% Press:...Read More

Venue change for Ferreira's g…

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

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As mentioned earlier, for the second game (on Saturday), we will now be on 3G turf now, as FC Ferreira's first team will be playing on the main pitch. We'll...Read More

Sunday afternoon bar.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

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We play our host, Gary Thomas' team on Sunday just before lunchtime. Afterwards, we'll be at the Bar Solar Da Palanicie near the football pitch at Alfamar where we can...Read More

In the newspaper in Portugal.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

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More publicity in Portugal. Algarve Resident, the local newspaper (online and in print) for the area, will be featuring Sassco's tour. Thanks to Inês Lopes at the newspaper and also Gary Thomas...Read More

On the radio in Portugal.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 12th October 2009

Pleased to announce that the local radio station, KISS FM Algarve will be mentioning our tour and also the match details up to and on game days. When we were in...Read More

Hospitality in Portugal on Fr…

Portugal Tour 2009 - 10th October 2009

After our late game on Friday (the day we land in Portugal), we've been invited into the restaurant/bar in the Imortal Stadium, as they have put on chicken and chips for after the...Read More

Portugal Tour flag.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 29th September 2009

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When in Malta, we didn't have any flag or banner to fly from the hotel room or to drape Muers in. For Portugal, we've obtained a two metre wide banner with...Read More

27 days until Portugal.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 18th September 2009

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With only 27 days remaining until the tour, a few final arrangements have been sorted. The times for the games have been set. The opening game will take place at 8:30pm...Read More

Portugal Tour 2009 venues.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 6th August 2009

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Two new pictures of the Municipal 3G pitch, courtesy of tour operator, Gary Thomas. This is the venue for our Friday afternoon game against Juventude Sport Campinense/Loulé. Looks quite impressive...Read More

About the organisers

Portugal Tour 2009 - 13th July 2009

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The driving force behind the tour has been myself (Davinder Sangha) as well as all the players who came on the Malta Tour 2009. I expected Malta to be a...Read More

Portugal Tour pennants

Portugal Tour 2009 - 6th July 2009

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Remember the pre-match handshakes when we played our three games in Malta? We received pennants and emblems from the opponents, while all Dave Gourlay could offer was a handshake and a...Read More


Portugal Tour 2009 - 14th June 2009

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16th October (Friday) Juventude Sport Campinense/Loulé 8:30pm Municipal 3G pitch 17th October (Saturday) FC Ferreiras 5:00pm Estadio Da Nora 18th October (Sunday) Destination Football FC 11:00am Hotel Alfamar pitch  

Full tour costs now published

Portugal Tour 2009 - 14th June 2009

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The costings for the tour are in. The total to pay overall is £258 per person based on the 13 who are travelling. Obviously, you take off the deposit paid...Read More

Opponents and venue changed.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 11th June 2009

Portugal 2009.nora Standnsp 309

Slight change on the schedule. Friday we play v Juventude on an artificial pitch next to the actual Municipal Stadium, but not in the stadium itself.  Saturday we play v FC Ferreiras...Read More

The venues

Portugal Tour 2009 - 3rd June 2009

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On Friday 16th October, our game will take place at the Municipal 3G venue against Juventude Sport Campinense. The pitch is a third generation artificial turf which is FIFA approved...Read More

Portugal Tour shirt.

Portugal Tour 2009 - 16th May 2009

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The new Portugal Tour 2009 shirt is as shown in the image. The brand is Adidas (obviously) and the sizes are based on the requests made by the individual player...Read More

Flights and hotel

Portugal Tour 2009 - 8th May 2009

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FlightsThe flights are by easyJet and take off from Newcastle. Friday 16 OctoberCheck in opens Fri 16 Oct 04:20
 Closes Fri 16 Oct 05:40 We need to ensure that we...Read More

Squad details

Portugal Tour 2009 - 8th May 2009

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01 Dave SmithReturns as goalkeeper for the tour. Currently playing for Sassco on Saturday when the manager gets one of his sadistic moments and forces Simpson to play outfield. An...Read More

Football venues

Portugal Tour 2009 - 26th March 2009

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Football venues provisionally confirmed in Portugal     Municipal Estadio de Albufeira.It's likely that we'll be playing on this pitch on Friday evening. Municipal Estadio de Albufeira.We'll be on the same pitch on Sunday.     Hotel...Read More

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