And then there were three.

Chris Dixon, who last watched SAFC when they were in the Champions League, sipping champagne in the corporate boxes, decided that it was really important that Sunderland needed his support for this one game.

So he had to leave the Sassco team in the lurch and head to Wembley. Dixon, although, had overstayed his welcome, after trying to take on two St. Georges players with the ball, in the deluge a night before. Dixon lost the ball and realising he was crap, started to slag off Dave G. Then I started on Dixon, and we all had a lot of fun. The comprehensive sunburn didn’t help. He was burnt so badly that we only needed to paint on some white stripes on his chest minge to simulate the red and white Awdis shirt.

Better than that prick, Tim, who didn’t even show. Dave actually asked me, when Tim was first hinting at not being on time (a day before we were due to fly out), how much of a percentage did I think Tim wouldn’t show up and I said 100%, which is ironically the amount of a percentage of a spineless, sackless cunt I think he also is.

So, for our third and final game, which was against a representative team organised by Andreas Menelaou, at the excellent A.M. Fair Game Sports Centre (or Center), we were the walking wounded – well I was. Andreas kindly put on a barbecue afterwards, to inevitably drown our sorrows and stuff our faces

For the game itself, we actually spent large swathes of this game ahead. Bulgy, now liberated and realising he wasn’t playing professionals, fired in a number of goals and shockingly discovered his right foot wasn’t just for stepping in dog shite.

Gabriel Theodorou, our guest outfield player, also fired in a number of goals and Gourlay also hit the score sheet, even while wearing his stupid hat (has to be different). Savvas Pitsillos was our goalkeeper and he did a great job in and out of goal, and both our “guests” were probably wishing Brexit had happened a bit earlier and we hadn’t been allowed to step into Cyprus.

Eventually, we failed to keep the lead and suffered our third defeat in four days, with three players in a five a side tour.