The Murton Project is in tatters.

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4 minutes

Sassco bludgeon the “Dream Team” but Danni Lay’s Nissan look like the favourites.

A more than impressive start to the new, experimental Wednesday League. With only four official teams (with Sporting Redhouse on stand by), excellent organisation was expected. The two set of pre-season games were converted to a mini cup competition. The winners would meet in the Final the following week and whoever triumphed would receive a £5 reduction in the entrance fee. A little incentive. All the teams were warned that once the League would start, they would have to be fully kitted; but good on them all that they did it automatically this week.

Nissan 4 Downhill Impact 0
It was mild panic stations for Danni Lay’s Nissan team. They were short having lost a few players for the opening game of the new Wednesday League. Lainey, the goalkeeper, vanished, but ever dependable Kev McClusky was brought in They were up against Swinhoe’s Downhill Impact side and it was five against six. Nevertheless, Nissan seemed to be far too strong. Josh Lay and Jason Calvert scored and Kurt Baxendale grabbed two goals. The team looked unstoppable and look obvious favourites for the Wednesday League. Swinhoe’s team were probably considerably younger than the green and white shirts they were squeezed into. But with Simma in goal, the ultra fit Swinhoe spearheading the attack, and the portly Brian Bob Marley (with Dean Brough, Mark Brymer, Adam Dagg and Gav Stead) in the team. It’s likely they’ll give the Murton Project a run for their money next week.

Josh Lay also claimed that he advised Danni to withdraw from the League as it was a no-contest and it’s time some other teams had a chance to win things. “Murton’s Munch Bunch are sh*te!” he continued. “Kyle’s overweight and out of date, while Murton’s got visions of grandeur. They’re finished.” 3 Fulwell Buccaneers 1
The fanfare which greeted the aforementioned Murton / Robinson / Yes Trigger project (Kal Griffith’s refused to play for Murton) saw an expectation that they were going to conquer all, cure every disease and screw every woman possible.

Their opposites, the celibate and Wednesday Sassco team was hastily cobbled together. Chris Taylor dropped out, but Neil Richardson, Paul Tyson Stokoe joined Davinder Sangha, along with Steve Logan, in between the sticks and two ex-Downhill Tuesday players, Ed Morrison and Dan Campbell. Murton’s dream team oozed class as well as various puss like chemicals due to the venereal diseases infecting 50% of this team. Yes Trigger came in at the last moment (and conveniently left his £2 subs in the car). Kyle Robinson was pumped up for action, but turned up wearing flip flops. Carlos Middlemiss was supposed to be the rock in the semi circle and no doubt Liam Wooton and Jimmy Raeper are keeping their options open, hoping to God that Charlie gets a kit sorted to bring a team in to take them away from the nightmare.

And nightmare it was. Ed Morrison opened the scoring in the first half as Sassco settled into a heavily defensive pattern. Sangha and Campbell at the back simply dismissed Trigger, Kyle and Murton as if they were genuine amateurs playing in the Oceania Football Confederation for Tonga, or some other made up country. Second half was worse. Tyson bolted in and hammered in the second goal, which ended the game as a contest. This was followed shortly by Nelly walloping a third. The Murton Project eventually gained a consolation when Nelly shouted “let him shoot!” at Kyle (who did and scored).

However, the Murton Project seems to be going the same way that the Marine House Project did many years back. No doubt we’ll see Murton scrambling around for match subs and Kyle throwing up on the hill within the next few weeks.

Please note that this section is now in the new format. Over the past two months, the Sassco website has been radically revamped. The site will still look the same, but the back end is now using a Content Management System (CMS) called Joomla. This allows easy editing and access to the site as it is now too large to edit it the traditional cut and paste way. The new site will be gradually introduced for Tuesday and the 11-a-side section.

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