Sassco defeat five man Fusion.

It's agony. Not for Burgess on the ground, but Tyson watching over him cursing his bad luck.

It's agony. Not for Burgess on the ground, but Tyson watching over him cursing his bad luck.

But Town End with four men and Tyson’s hat-trick defeat IPS!

It's agony. Not for Burgess on the ground, but Tyson watching over him cursing his bad luck.

Town End Thunder 5 IPS 2
It seemed as if Town End Thunder’s bad luck was following them again when a player was instantly injured in the opening minutes. Tyson was worryingly counting down the weeks he was going to last in the league, but unexpectedly Town End took the lead. It was soon reversed when IPS recovered and grabbed two goals. After that, it was expected to be “keep ball” for IPS, but Tyson had other things on his mind. With his team deteriorating, he took the game by the scruff of the neck and fired in a superb hat-trick, with Jonesy and Titch adding the other goals. IPS were shell shocked and struggled to get back into a game they should have surely won.

Duggan struggles to live up to his past form as his Stars are defeated against the in-form Hendon Rovers.

Hendon Rovers 3 Redhouse Stars 0
Another changed line up from Duggan’s Stars didn’t make much of an improvement as Hendon Rovers – a team on form – struck two goals past them. Ramsay with yet a different coloured hairstyle is now thinking his team have a major chance, until reality comes crashing down on them and he realises that Paul McConville isn’t the player he thinks he is.

Siddall for Wear (wearing blue) watches the agile Kyle Robinson dance away with the ball.

WWC 4 Wear Consulting 0
Amazingly, it was Wear who had the better chances in the opening half. Carlos Middlemiss was to thank for WWC keeping a clean sheet. However, they did score to take a half time lead and eventually added three further goals. Making an appearance for WWC was a great star who has graced much more impressive stages. Yes, Grant Foster made a return. WWC also featured ex-NUFC Paul Robinson, who is obviously aware that WWC are going places unlike NUFC.

Sassco.co.uk 4 Redhouse Fusion 3
Sassco’s side was truly battered even before kick off. Macca’s head had been caved in by his lass and both Nelly and Titch had been injured off the battering by West Auckland FC (see the 11-a-side section). To top that off, Langan and Muers both had Swine Flu. In came the reinforcements. Cressy roped in Kev Gordon, while I persuaded Farquhar and Dinning to play. This meant Simpson was outfield. Sassco expected a thrashing, but Fusion only turned up with five men. Danni Lay was absent, but with Town End winning with four men, they were still favoured. Kurt opened the scoring, but Cresswell responded, then Simpson shockingly scored a chipped shot over Laing. What a legend.

Second half saw Josh Lay strike back for Fusion, before Kev Gordon put Sassco ahead again. In the last minute, Woody stormed through and fired in what seemed to be the equaliser. However, seconds later, Cresswell did a similar move at the other end to give Sassco the win. True Fusion had five men, but records in the end will show a Sassco win over Fusion (again). Josh Lay spent the moments after the game threatening and cursing Danni Lay with every possible swear word on the phone. I think there’s going to be a battle for the top bunk bed in their room tonight.

Also very pissed off. A new black and white Bunker ball was lost (probably stolen). Anyone find anyone kicking one around, then they have my permission to cave the thief’s head in and bring the ball back. The reward will be one bonus point for their team.