It takes a total of 16 minutes for McDermont to come alive.

Our rearranged encounter v Newton & Co. which was originally abandoned on around 25 minutes when one of our players lost a red sock, was back on.

Unfortunately for this one, we were missing Mark Muers, Mark Angus and Dom Brown. The latter two were unable to get time off to play this one, while Muers has allegedly played his last game for Sassco.

Newton & Co. were also limited by squad numbers, while we only had 11. We did originally had 12, but then Tommy Wilko dropped out due to a cracked rib. But not any old cracked rib…

Excuses To Miss Football – Number #39
Cracked ribs after getting his leg over. His missus knee’d him in the ribs.

This joins #7 “Shopping for tea towels with our lass” and #14 “Two football clubs with which I’ve got no affinity to or link to are playing each other on TV” in the classic all-time list I have in an Excel spreadsheet.

In replacement, we had Anthony Yates in his second game for Sassco back-to-back and James Adams. McDermont was showing up late, having been caught in traffic, but I actually told him we had 11 players and to wait on the side lines, to which he did and then couldn’t understand why everyone was bollocking him to hurry up when he was casually strolling in.

It took McDermont a total of 11.44 minutes to get on the pitch, from his initial slow walk around the 3G, getting his kit on and then getting on at the 16 minute mark. However, he turned the game around and from being under pressure, Sassco took the lead and never looked back.

Before then we were under pressure and the majority of the first twenty minutes was spent in our own half, with Sangha, Whelam, Adams and Jakey defending in front of Dave Smith. Whelam chose the newly purchased XXL top with a stick on badge, but no sponsor details, so he felt like Johan Cruyff wearing a Puma 2-stripe. As mentioned, when we did get on the scoresheet it was when Macca had just managed to get his socks on and was on the pitch. After that he vanished again, and Muers, watching from the sidelines, had more mobility than him.

We were solid from then and didn’t really have any problems. Midfield of Bear and McConville combined well, while Yatesy was bombing down one wing and Mac blowing his arse out on the other. Up front, Matty Williams eventually got his hat-trick and added to it, while Gourlay notched first, with a superb lob over a 4ft ‘keeper. Four goals were scored in the first half with no reply, while immediately in the second another two were added. Newton did eventually get on the scoresheet with one and then another one from a bullet strike from Jake – another cracking own goal to add to his list.