Errors at the back and lack of composure up front.

Pearson to Emu
Anth Pearson makes simple pass inside to Dunston.


Emu to Pearson
Who, being a nonce, decides to pass it back, instead of getting it forward.


Pearson sold short
The pass being crap and too short, is intercepted by the Mountain Daisy player.


Emu arsehole. Pearson in tears.
Who races on towards goal, reducing Pearson to tears and making Dunston look like a nob-head.


A tumultuous week for me in terms of football. My head’s been up my own backside for most of it. Firstly, due to contractual reasons, I was forced to call on Emu for the 6-a-side, which meant we suffered a defeat. I sent a hundred and one texts out to confirm the midweek game away to Hylton CW, which although was cancelled early, meant another hundred and one texts. I forgot to text Dave Gourlay which meant he was stuck at Billy Hardy slagging me off. Then it was Thursday football, another defeat, despite Emu somehow bagging two goals and, at the end of it, too much football.

This meant my plans for Saturday were a bit late. We’re seeing the season out so I’m not as frantic as I usually am. I knew we were missing a few. Tim, Marky and Mickey Pearson all cried off. Tim’s excuse is that he’s getting married. You’re wasting your time as it’ll all end in tears mate. So with Tiger Tim missing, I kept with 4-4-2 as Macca still clearly can’t fill his boots.

Football injury to testicles.

We were at Quarry View against Mountain Daisy. It’s the first time I’ve been there and it seems to be an outstanding venue. But, in the searing heat, we dropped a good few clangers with about a minute on the clock. It was in the Sub League Cup and I’d given up on it when we were walloped by Rubiheat. True, I started it by saying we had a good chance. It took a Dave Graham wonder goal to break down the schizophrenic Park View (who seem to beat everyone apart from us) and then I just wanted to humiliate Mickey Donkin (again) in our 5-0 bludgeoning of them. Mountain Daisy were a different proposition. I won’t describe the opener, but will let the photos at the top do the talking. It safe to say that Emu is rapidly becoming the donut / village idiot of the team. I would have ditched him years ago, but he’s on one of them long contracts I drew up without reading the small print.

Then, Macca being a spacca, gave away a corner when he had loads of time. After the second attempt (the first corner being headed away), they were 2-0 up. Macca implored me to slag someone else off at the end of the game, but being docile that he is, I only remember his clangers and would have forgot had he not reminded me at the end of the game.

A true disaster, but then the team drove on. We actually performed really well but missed around four or five gilt edged chances in the opening half. Dixon, up front, skied one. Gourlay, after getting the ball caught under his feet, recovered but then ballooned it. Cressy missed some good ones by firing wide, and our Man-of-the-match, Dave Graham came close with some long distance drives. I was preparing to give a good talk at half time dwelling on the positives, but it was then when the normally impeccable Jamie Wilson got caught in possession and we were 3-0 down. I did warn him minutes before, saying they were “on to him,” as he was caught out.

Half time came and went. No major changes, but not many chances in the second half. Both centre halves dropped a clanger when they weren’t goalside of a solitary striker and saw the ball loop over Simma’s head. Poor show all around. Finishing was diabolical and defence was laughable.

Dave Gourlay's not happy. Macca's shite.

Anth P signalled me to come on and when this happens it usually ends in tears. But, I gave Emu a rollicking, pushed Jamie up front and Dixon back and we didn’t concede any more goals. frustration crept in to the game. Si got in on the act and started to lash out later on in the game. I think his opponent was slagging off his bright orange Nike clogs. He got a caution for his worries. Dave Graham also had plenty to say to the referee, Steve Watson, and got himself booked as well. It was harsh as he was apparently fouled before they scored their fourth goal. Jamie also threatened to descend into tourettes again.

Being honest, my pre-match team talk wasn’t too inspiring. I was just happy to get there with 11 or 12 players. Swinhoe cried off with Man Flu beforehand, but the lack of team talk didn’t tell Emu or Jamie to drop a bollock when in defence. It proves my theory that we’re lacking in bite against the stronger team as we always seem to be doing. Not many positives at all. Ed had a good game. Dave Graham was easily our best player, while Cressy did his part.

Quarry View
Subsidiary League
Mountain Da
isy 4 0 Dave Simpson,
Anthony Pearson (Davinder Sangha), Marc McDermont, Mark Muers, Dave Graham*, Ed Morrison, Chris Dixon, Dave Gourlay, Simon Mulvaney, Mark Cresswell, Jamie Wilson.