Horrible Muers.

Here’s a quick fitness guide and some advice based on some articles on the Internet and general common sense.

As you’ll end up being a bunch of tubby’s, it’s recommended having some sort of routine. It’s easy to train everyday, even in front of the TV; jogging on the spot for example. You might look like a dick, but it’s worth it when you’ll be gleaming in that small to medium size top when you next grace a football field.

It’s recommended to train for 6 days with 1 day rest (if you wish).

Stretching exercises.

Being football, we need to stretch. I know it hurts, but who cares? This needs to be done everyday. Stretch for around 15 minutes. You need to stretch the following for around 30 seconds or more each time (click on to any to see an example of how to do the exercise).

Make sure you always stretch after training, runs or any games you play

Click here to view a general guide to stretching from WikiHow.


For every workout day you have you have to run, or even hop on the bike and ride up a hill or something.

  1. Stretch first.
  2. Run for around 15 to 20 minutes, even on the spot.
  3. Make sure you burst into sprints. In a game, it’s said that you don’t tend to sprint over over distances greater than 12 metres, so use that as a guide.
  4. Cool down and stretch.

Core muscle work

Having a strong core is critical as it helps balance and makes you stronger. Around three days of the six day routine should cover core work, with 15 to 20 minutes of the following (click on them to see examples):


Being agile is something you’d really need to do outdoors. Some of us pivot slower than battleships, but this can be worked on. Something like setting up around three markers and running back and forth from each. Start at the first one, run to the next one, then run to the first again, run up to the third one and so on. This needs to be around 15 to 20 minutes and can be done in the garden.

Ball skills

Obviously, at this later stage, no one is going to be able to teach Muers how to pass the ball properly. All skills are a bit difficult to teach (especially if you are Muers), but there’s nothing wrong with being comfortable with the ball. Ideally, have the ball at your feet and keep close control in difficult areas. Use your weaker foot as well, or just make sure you clear it, don’t give away corners and make sure every shot is on target.