Muers and Sangha. The foundations on which Sassco.co.uk were built. One is getting wider, while the other one's getting older.

Muer’s gets a hat-trick, but Pearson persuades Park View to give the Man-of-the-match to Langan.

Muers and Sangha. The foundations on which Sassco.co.uk were built. One is getting wider, while the other one's getting older.

Yes, we may have our fancy website; the best around. We do have our over ambitious, but still successful, tours overseas and we may be kitted out in the finest custom gear, including footballs, as well as being uniquely Adidas long before they started releasing kits in the UK. But we always remember our level, which is the lowest amateur level available to adults. This is something that Park View failed to get in their heads when the game was struggling for a referee. We tried long and hard to get a stand-in referee, with no luck.

Eventually it was decided that me, Brian Watson or Greenwell would have the honours. Spanner in the works when Park View refused to play under these circumstances. Pissed me off no end. What other reasons would a team at this level use? No clean running water, no room for spectators in the stands? To much dog turd on the pitch (apart from the players)? It’s quite obvious that I don’t give a hoot about health and safety. We need to look at the level we are at. If we have to ram two posts into either end of a pitch and run a string along the top, then that’s good enough for me.

In the event, Peter Maguire managed to get a referee in, so my rant above was wasted.

Park View had been a problematic side for us in the past, but they were a pale shadow of the team from a few seasons back. The much maligned and diseased Muers put Sassco 1-0 ahead, before his equally rotund partner, Langan, made it 2-0. Greenwell was absent due to work, so Michael Pearson picked the team in a 3-5-2 formation (the inset video shows the beginnings of his historic team talk). It worked, but both wing-backs, Dixon and Pea, struggled, so it was reverted to 4-4-2 when Park View came back strongly.

Second half saw Greenwell turn up and replace Dixon, who spent the second half slagging off Anth Pearson (until he scored). By this time we were 3-0 ahead from Muers before they pulled one back. It didn’t cause us any problems as we ran out 7-2 winners. Muers scored three. Langan scored two, while Stoker and Anth Pearson scored the others. Stoker actually provided a running commentary during the penultimate goal, calling everyone “paedo’s”, “kiddy fiddlers” and “fat c**ts.” Tourettes well and truly in force.