East Durham 6 Sassco.co.uk 3.

Sassco conceding six goals? No wonder, with MC Hammer in goal wearing non-Adidas track bottoms.

Sassco conceding six goals? No wonder, with MC Hammer in goal wearing non-Adidas track bottoms.

Muers misses chance after chance while Campbell went to watch Michael Bublé.

Sassco conceding six goals? No wonder, with MC Hammer in goal wearing non-Adidas track bottoms.

While Campbell was listening to the droning voice of Michael Buble, I was left on the sidelines in the sticks at Peterlee worrying if my car was being broken into while Muers put on a superb display of how to miss easy chances.

We went 1-0 up with the aforementioned watching the opponent ‘keeper palm an easy shot into his own net. At the other end, an equally flapping goalkeeper, Marc McDermont (Simma bottled it after I told him his stats were three games – twelve goals conceded), conceded easily and we were soon 3-1 down. Macca’s first act in the game was to run up and boot Nicky Smith as hard as he could in the knee, while pretending to look like MC Hammer with his ridiculously baggy tracksuit bottoms (non-Adidas as well).

After it went to 4-1, we made a comeback at 4-2, then 5-3. Muers scored again and Andy Turner struck his first for the team. A period of domination occurred when we hit the crossbar, had several chances misses and cleared off the line. Simon also was “snipered” early in the second half with no player near him. He just keeled over.

The team ran out of steam and conceded late on to make it 6-3 to conclude a poor season. Now everyone has to relax, put their feet up, go on holiday and return for our pre-season which starts next week with a AGUK Cup game against Redhouse FC.