-22nd July 2008 | back to top

Sporting Redhouse 6 Sassco.co.uk 1
Sassco really didn't look too interested in their clash against Sporting Redhouse. Two clangers from Sangha and Muers meant it was 2-0 against them within a matter of minutes. After that, no one looked as if they could fathom another 28 minutes or so as Sporting ran up another four goals. Tyson fired one in for Sassco at the end, but it was only a consolation. Borat Anderson scored four goals by running from deep, while Walker and Catcheside scored the other two. Billy Harrison failed to score as he was busy asking me if he was the top scorer in the League so far.

Redhouse Youth's 6 Downhill FC 0
Youth's also took to the heat with poor Downhill suffering, after some recent, decent performances. Downhill were claiming that the kit colours were too close to each other and spent the game passing to their rampant opponents. Coyney supposidly scored a wonder goal, but there were no witnesses who came forward to verify his goal. Taylor scored one from a tight angle, but the referee awarded a goalkeeper ball for stepping in the box, which soon wiped the toothless grin off his face. After the game, Anthony Pearson venomously lashed out at Doughty's poor man-management skills and general tactical naivety.

Hylton Castle 2 FC Bell Redhouse 0
FC Bell Redhouse, without the Bell, were a bit disorganised as Grant was forced to take "Yes, Trigger" home for his boots, despite both of them failing to put two and two together and realising that the pitchside was full of footballers (hence available football boots). It was a bit like going home from Asda because you'd forgotten your carrier bag.

Anyhow, they started, and within around fifty seconds, Grant and Keith Moon (for Hylton Castle) were dismissed for an almighty fight in the middle of the field. All I can really remember of it was Anth Mouat constantly blowing his whistle as if the high pitched squeal would pull them both apart. Not being sharp enough, I failed to get any of the action on camera. The game was restarted as five-a-side and eventually, Hylton Castle got the rewards with a goal past an impressive stand-in performance from Rob Woodward (all the other 'keepers were in Spain). Soon after, Hylton scored again, and despite a few choice words between the two Middlemiss's (Denni and Chris), the game ended without incident.

As FC Bell Redhouse players are on a pay as you play basis, it means that Grant owes me about 15 pence.

Fulwell Blue Bell 2 Sassco Impact 1
Fulwell Blue Bell were camped in the Sassco Impact half and the reward paid off when Logan was beaten by Reggie. In the second half, Sassco Impact got back into it when Smithy, surrounded by the Fulwell backline, squeezed through and scored a superb goal. Almost instantly, Fulwell scored again. 2-1 and the score remained that way. A good win for Fulwell as they look very comfortable after two games. At the end of the game, Logan's sticky fingers were in action again as he took Minnican's (Downhill goalkeeper) gloves. Also pre-match his can of Calsberg didn't really help as he was also drink driving (on his bike). I did see him somehow crash through the side of the fence and get stuck for a while. A true comedy moment. Unfortunately, the camera was packed away and no one was there to witness it. Maybe it was caught on the complex's CCTV system.

-15th July 2008 | back to top

Redhouse Youth's 1 Hendon Rovers 0
The opening game saw an expectant Redhouse Youth's ready to dish out a hammering to the poor Hendon team, who suffered last week at the hands of Downhill. It didn't happen, and only a double save from Craig Dinning, who's been fighting to keep his place in the team, kept the score at 0-0. Youth's eventually fired one in, but it was the only goal of the game despite their dominance. Perhaps it was the fact that Hendon somehow managed to squeeze themselves into the ten year old green and white Herrenknecht shirts from Season 1, which gave them the extra breath and streamlined physique. Nevertheless, it's three points for the Youth's.

Sporting Redhouse 4 FC Bell Redhouse 3
FC Bell Redhouse took to the field against a strong looking Sporting team. Bell was back for Redhouse and they took the lead against the run of play with a "Yes Trigger" goal. Sporting came back and eventually took the lead with two goals. But then two superbly worked free kicks gave FC Bell Redhouse a 3-2 lead. As the game neared to a close, Sporting equalised, but moments later scored the winner. A shocker for Bell Redhouse, as they were hugely disappointed, but a critical win for Sporting Redhouse as they were close to a second defeat.

Hylton Castle 1 Sassco Impact 1
Sassco Impact had Logan to thank again for an outstanding performance to give Impact a 1-1 draw against Hylton Castle. Impact finally scored a goal with Humble getting one on the break. Ironically, Hylton Castle equalised immediately, but the second half saw Logan receiving yet another battering, but coming out with a point. This is the first set of points dropped by Hylton Castle all season. There was some criticism on the sidelines (Anth Pearson) about Impact being overly defensive and negative. Unlike Downhill - who concede goals for fun, Impact are are tight at the back. Downhill think conceding goals is part and parcel of the way a team should play, but then again, Downhill are the Sassco League's equivalent of those people who self harm and cut themselves.

Sassco.co.uk 1 Fulwell Blue Bell 1
Fulwell Blue Bell, under the control of Rob King, came into play, replacing Witherwack. The team was well organised, fully kitted and seemed to cope well with the rules. However, the opening half against Sassco saw them chasing the ball as Sassco, through Lee Cresswell, took a 1-0 lead. They came back into it near the end of the half, but the second saw a complete turnaround. Blue Bell dominated and it was only the legend that is Simma, who kept the score at 1-0. Danny Hall was on show for Sassco, but unfortunately, he turned out a bit larger than the trimmer version last seen being sent off in the Thursday League a good few months back. Today the closest description you could say about him was that he performed and looked like a fatally wounded Rhino. Anyway, late in the game, Reggie broke clear from a ruckus of players and curled one in for Fulwell's equaliser. Right at the death, Mark Cresswell shattered the cross bar as both teams shared the points.

The League Table now shows Fulwell back in it as they've taken over Witherwack's games.

-8th July 2008 | back to top

Redhouse Youth's 0 Sassco Impact 0
Another Logan inspired performance. He pulled off save after save to cancel out Youth's utter dominance in this game. Even Yatesy said that, "If we had a 'keeper like him, we'd win the Champion's League."

The draw sets back their recent good run, but at least they remained unbeaten.

FC Redhouse / Hendon 4 Sassco.co.uk 1
A surprise defeat last week against Downhill was overturned this week, with FC Redhouse ending Sassco's long unbeaten run. Ironically, it was back on 13th May when the "old" AFC Redhouse team defeated Sassco.

Downhill FC 8 Hendon Rovers 0
After the disaster last week, it was even worse this week for Hendon Rovers as they crashed to Downhill FC. It's two wins back to back for Downhill.

-1st July 2008 | back to top

Redhouse Youth's 1 Sporting Redhouse 1
Sporting took the lead in the major encounter of the day. The Youth's were expected to wilt without Stephen Ramsay and also both goalkeepers missing. Ross Mullen was doused in ice water to get him out of his drink and drugs stupor to impressively hold the likes of Billy Harrison and co. at bay. Even Steve "Borat" Anderson could only watch as Snowdon, playing like a man possessed, bludgeoned through the Sporting backline to fire in a near post equaliser to gain his team a deserved point.

Youth's were very pleased. With Yatesy now taking sole control of coaching and Davinder Sangha fulfilling a life long ambition with a role as General Manager, things can only look up. The video on the right shows an excitable Billy Harrison warming up before making an ineffective appearance.

Hylton Castle 5 Hendon Rovers 0
After losing one Hendon team, it won't be surprising if we lose another one. A full-strength Hylton Castle were looking forward to the encounter, but only faced three outfield players. One was so disappointed that he walked off after a few minutes with Hylton hitting five goals. Referee, Anth Mouat, had no choice but to abandon the game. Massive disappointment. Players are out there wanting to play, but unfortunately, there isn't a lot you can do when a player, saying he's going to turn up, fails to do so.

Sassco.co.uk 1 Sassco Impact 0
An appearance from the legendary Steve Stubbs, he of Crown Electrics fame, was the highlight before the clash of these two teams. Stubba (as he's affectionately known) was playing on the 6-a-side for the first time since Fatty Wardle lost his boot in the Cup Final a few years ago. In contrast, Sassco Impact presented the future, with fresh faced youngsters with boundless energy. Sassco, the older version, presented the same old tired team. Lewis suffering from hay fever, Macca struggling to understand how to control a ball and Sangha playing in boots which were a good few years older than his opponents. In the event, the older Sassco dominated the game and it was "old" Logan to thank as he kept the score down. A single goal separated the sides for the entire goal as Sassco.co.uk gained a reasonably comprehensive 1-0 victory, as the young Sassco Impact team were clearly in awe of Stubba, having heard about his exploits in the archive sections.

Downhill FC 3 FC Hendon / Redhouse 2
Tommy Bell took over the moribund FC Hendon team (now called FC Redhouse) and only had Grant Foster and Brookey from the old AFC team. Downhill featured Mickey Pearson in Kylie Minogue like hot pants and he soon made a mark as he cancelled Grant's equaliser with a goal to make it 2-1. Grant did score again, but late on, a long range strike caught Gav Kershaw (making a cold return) unawares as Downhill secured a 3-2 win. It all didn't end there for Gav as that dodgy lamp post caught his car bumper out as he was leaving.

-1st July 2008 | back to top

Redhouse Youth's 1 Sporting Redhouse 1
Sporting took the lead in the major encounter of the day. The Youth's were expected to wilt without Stephen Ramsay and also both goalkeepers missing. Ross Mullen was doused in ice water to get him out of his drink and drugs stupor to impressively hold the likes of Billy Harrison and co. at bay. Even Steve "Borat" Anderson could only watch as Snowdon, playing like a man possessed, bludgeoned through the Sporting backline to fire in a near post equaliser to gain his team a deserved point.

Youth's were very pleased. With Yatesy now taking sole control of coaching and Davinder Sangha fulfilling a life long ambition with a role as General Manager, things can only look up. The video on the right shows an excitable Billy Harrison warming up before making an ineffective appearance.

Hylton Castle 5 Hendon Rovers 0
After losing one Hendon team, it won't be surprising if we lose another one. A full-strength Hylton Castle were looking forward to the encounter, but only faced three outfield players. One was so disappointed that he walked off after a few minutes with Hylton hitting five goals. Referee, Anth Mouat, had no choice but to abandon the game. Massive disappointment. Players are out there wanting to play, but unfortunately, there isn't a lot you can do when a player, saying he's going to turn up, fails to do so.

Sassco.co.uk 1 Sassco Impact 0
An appearance from the legendary Steve Stubbs, he of Crown Electrics fame, was the highlight before the clash of these two teams. Stubba (as he's affectionately known) was playing on the 6-a-side for the first time since Fatty Wardle lost his boot in the Cup Final a few years ago. In contrast, Sassco Impact presented the future, with fresh faced youngsters with boundless energy. Sassco, the older version, presented the same old tired team. Lewis suffering from hay fever, Macca struggling to understand how to control a ball and Sangha playing in boots which were a good few years older than his opponents. In the event, the older Sassco dominated the game and it was "old" Logan to thank as he kept the score down. A single goal separated the sides for the entire goal as Sassco.co.uk gained a reasonably comprehensive 1-0 victory, as the young Sassco Impact team were clearly in awe of Stubba, having heard about his exploits in the archive sections.

Downhill FC 3 FC Hendon / Redhouse 2
Tommy Bell took over the moribund FC Hendon team (now called FC Redhouse) and only had Grant Foster and Brookey from the old AFC team. Downhill featured Mickey Pearson in Kylie Minogue like hot pants and he soon made a mark as he cancelled Grant's equaliser with a goal to make it 2-1. Grant did score again, but late on, a long range strike caught Gav Kershaw (making a cold return) unawares as Downhill secured a 3-2 win. It all didn't end there for Gav as that dodgy lamp post caught his car bumper out as he was leaving.

-24th June 2008 | back to top

Unfortunately, FC Hendon have pulled out of the League. Along with Witherwack, this means that seven teams are remaining. However, I am looking to put together a "mercenary" team controlled by myself just to play off FC Hendon's remaining games. They have about seven games left, so anyone out there wanting a game, let me know. Also, any managers who know of fringe players, also let me know.

Also Youth's were £2 short in their match payment which means that from now on, they are on a Pay to Play system. This means that I will take the £2 payment off each player BEFORE the game. Anyone not paying is not eligible to play.

Sporting Redhouse 3 Hendon Rovers 0
A second difficult game for the Rovers as they faced Sporting Redhouse. A stubborn opening saw both teams having reasonable chances. Hembrough broke the deadlock in the first half, but the majority of the second was goalless, with Hendon's 'keeper pulling off some remarkable saves. In the last few minutes, two further goals were added (from Hembrough and Middlemiss) to seal the game for Sporting.

Sassco.co.uk 5 Downhill FC 1
Due to the fixture reorganisation, Sassco played Downhill again for the second time in two weeks. Last week saw a late strike for Sassco to seal it, but this time it was a more accomplished performance as they raced into a 3-0 lead. Neil Richardson was instrumental and was rewarded with a hat-trick. Stephen Lewis and Mark Cresswell also scored, while Mickey Oliver fired one in for Downhill when they were 3-0 in the second half. This put Sassco into the heady heights of second place, but their close rivals have games in hand.

Hylton Castle 1 Redhouse Youth 0
Ramsay turning up late didn't help the Youth's cause as they were 1-0 down to a Gav Dorwood free-kick in the first half at the time. In a healthy battle between these two old rivals, the referee had his work cut out and somehow managed to keep Stephen Coyne on the pitch. The first half goal remained the only goal. Ramsay came close late on, but crucially slipped at the edge of the box and the chance was gone. The blurry video on the right shows Gav Dorwood's goal.

-17th June 2008 | back to top

After two chaotic weeks, it was back to normal in the League. However, a no show for FC Hendon combined with a kit fine for Sassco Impact made sure it wasn't a perfect day. The Sassco League has high standards and expects teams to cope within those standards. There is flexibility and we will bend over backwards to help with kit, etc, but teams need to pull their own weight.

Hylton Castle 2 Hendon Rovers 1
A turnaround for Hylton Castle as they made their belated return in place of AFC. They conceded an early breakaway goal, but Snowball responded with a goal that most claimed was inside the box. The referee was too far away to make an accurate judgment and the goal stood. Danny Hodgson then fired his team into the lead and they didn't relinquish it. Hylton Castle have now added another three points to AFC's healthy tally.

Sporting Redhouse 5 Sassco Impact 0
Down to earth for Impact as an early weak throw out from Logan saw Cromack fire in a 35 yard scorcher. Moments later, an Impact player stepped into the box out of momentum and was penalised. Harrison rammed home from the spot. Further goals gave the Champions a handsome 5-0 win.

Sassco.co.uk 4 Downhill FC 3
The best game of the night. A weakened Sassco team didn't feature the Cresswell's, Keith Mouat or Dave Gourlay. Farquhar came in at the recommendation of Macca and the knives were out in the opening minutes as Farquhar lost the ball cheaply. 1-0 to Downhill, as Ed Morrison was bang on target. Literally a minute later, Macca got Sassco out of the mire with a long range 40 yard curling ball which nestled into the back of the net. Sassco were back level, but another two cheap balls saw Downhill gain two more goals with Mickey Oliver and Eddy being clinical. Just as Pea and Doughty were salivating and getting glazed eyes, Sassco replied with Lewis to make it 3-2. Second half was all to play for. Mickey Pearson, deemed to old by Downhill, came on for Farquhar and turned things around. Soon it was 3-3, but with time running out, Sassco looked like they'd lost three points. Right at the death, a deflected shot made it 4-3 to Sassco. Doughty was close to tears, while Pearson (the young one) was muttering about the referee's decisions.

Redhouse Youth 3 FC Hendon 0 Match awarded
Paul McConville was struggling to get a side out and due to cancelling on the day, the game was awarded to the Youths. Points have been deducted from FC Hendon (not shown on the table yet) and Paul McConville will be making it known during the week if FC Hendon are to continue in the League.

-27th May 2008 | back to top

A few upheavals in the Sassco League. Due to the "hand round the neck and subsequent slow squeezing" incident on Thursday, AFC (or rather Gash Brazier) felt they could no longer participate in the League. Danny Hodgson's Hylton Castle, the powerful team from a few seasons past, are going to take their place, so at least it's a strong team replacing a strong team. They come into a position which is 100% perfect; with five wins out of five. Also, Dan Carson's under 18 team, Sassco Impact (or at least a cut down version of the new 11-a-side team) came in and replaced ALS. Finally, Witherwack's unexpected no show means a hefty £25 fine as well as points deducted. Normally teams who don't show up on the day are completely ejected. However, considering that they were one of the more reliable teams in the League, if they pay up, they will be allowed back in.

Redhouse Youth 0 Sassco Impact (ALS) 0
A remarkable performance by the new team, Sassco Impact, in as replacements for ALS. Only Logan remained from the original side and he pulled off one of his regular, superb performances in a 0-0 draw. Both goalkeepers performed superbly. Carl Middlemiss had prostituted himself to the Redhouse Youth team and did his job well. Unconfirmed reports say that Yatesy's, "We'll murder these.." had the desired effect on his opponents mentality to make it a stubborn night for them.

Match report by Dan Carson (Sassco Impact)
Started off really scrappy, neither team took hold of the game. Youths should have taken the lead after Kris Allison was harshly judged to of stepped into the area. The initial penalty was perfectly placed but brought back because of the taker having more than one step. The second was smashed off the crossbar and cleared. ALS fought hard throughout and Allison in particular made some crucial blocks, not to mention Logan's brilliant reflex stops. ALS had chances to win it at the death with Jack Ward saved superbly by the Youth keeper and Dan Carson flashing a dipping volley wide.

Sporting Redhouse 3 Witherwack 0 Match awarded
Surprisingly, Witherwack, one of the most reliable and well organised sides in the League made a no show. This means a 3-0 win for Sporting. But, as of this moment, Witherwack have been deleted from the League. With no replacements in line, this could be permanent. The table has changed to reflect their absence which also means that any games they had are deleted.

Sassco.co.uk 3 Hendon Rovers 1
Admittedly one of my (me being Davinder Sangha) worst performances ever. I told Nellie that my unofficial nick name was Davinder "miss me out" Sangha, but he laughed it off. However, during the game, I think I passed to the Hendon team more times than they did themselves. I haven't even played this badly on computer games. Nevertheless, Lewis' work rate saw Sassco go in at half time leading 1-0. Hendon didn't take advantage of Sassco's ineptitude. The often criticised Mark Muers lashed one in from both posts to liberate the team. Despite a late Hendon goal, Sassco, from Marc McDermont added in the third goal.

Downhill FC 5 FC Hendon 2
A rip roaring performance from Downhill. FC Hendon only had five players and conceding an early goal really didn't help. When the second went in, it was effectively over. Pearson, Calvert and Campbell got three goals while Mickey Oliver scored two. Disappointment from FC Hendon as there's nothing you can do if a player fails to show.