With no games since 12th December, the 11-a-side will be having a very busy time over the next few months with Saturday, Monday and Wednesday games, as well as an early weekend kick off*.

The full set of fixtures are as below:

The new Bunker sponsored Adidas shirt for the Summer friendly games and the 2010-2011 season as well as beyond. The type is Adidas Toque and it contains the usual Sassco embroidered badge from the Weishin Company in China, as well as the new sponsor logo and standard numbering on the reverse (printed by Aztec Print).

The majority of the shirts are sized large and are in long sleeve.

Delighted to announce that The Bunker will be taking on the role of main 11-a-side sponsor for next season. This now means that they sponsor the 11-a-side and the 6-a-side. Thanks to iKobo for supporting us for the past two years, but they may well still be involved with us next season and would be the main sponsor for the second shirt.

The Bunker have been involved with Sassco since 2006, when they became the semi-permanent sponsor of the 6-a-side League. They are now permanent sponsors of the Tuesday League as part of the deal which sees them funding the 11-a-side team. A new shirt will be produced to replace the two-season iKobo blue shirt, which has done the team proud by being the longest used shirt since 2004.

Michael Pearson with Anthony Langan as Assistant.

Due to a complete lack of communication and no responses from Wayne Greenwell, it's been decided to promote Michael Pearson as Team Coach, with Anthony Langan appointed as his Assistant until further notice.

There hasn't been an explanation why Greenwell's being non-responsive, but he failed to make any communication the previous week for the abandoned game and it's been decided that we can't waste time on players who simply don't reply. Pearson was Greenwell's Assistant, but has taken control of the team previously when Greenwell was working. Anth Langan comes in as Assistant.

We set the structure in place so that it runs smoothly as we had a turnaround of coaches in the last season which was unacceptable. Also, just to clarify:

The General Manager always organises the squad of 14 players to be present at the game. It's then the Team Coach's role to organise the playing line-up, deal with tactics and substitutions. He will always take advice from his Assistant, his Captain and anyone else, but the final decision always rests with the Team Coach. If the Team Coach does not require a player to be present then he'll inform the General Manager, who will in turn inform the player (as the General Manager does not want players standing on the sidelines without any prospect of playing).

Brian, as Team Secretary, has known all the background goings on within the Sassco Organisation for the last few years.

Brian has always been involved in football even from an early age, playing for school teams and numerous youth teams often in goal or the heart of the defence and although age has crept up on him he has kept his passion for the game.
 
He Formed Downhill Wolves Under-10's in 2003 which folded in 2006 after 3 succesful years having been promoted in our very first season albeit at small sided football. It nearly became Sassco Wolves, but it folded before having the chance (Sassco Impact took on the youth mantle for Sassco, the following season).
 
Then he became secretary of Sassco in 2006, having been contacted to find the club a new secretary. He took the job himself and enjoyed every minute. He also formed the new ALS sponsored 6 a side team which competed in the Sassco League, which folded due to the lack of commitment by the players. As for the 11-a-side, Brian had to resign at the end of the 2008/09 season, due to the formation of a new youth team of which he is the assistant manager, called Northside United Under-15's, competing in the third division of the Russell Foster Youth League.

He then re-took his post of secretary of Sassco for the 2009/2010 season.

Q) You've been with Sassco for a number of seasons now. What are your impressions of the team, the set up, the players, etc. having already been in charge of other teams yourself in the past?

WATSON: The team on the whole are a great bunch of lads. The set-up has also to be commended and I'm proud to be a small cog in a well oiled machine, as there are a number of us on the management staff , General Manager Sangha, Coaches Greenwell and Pearson, Captain Dave Gourlay and even tea boy Muers, who all muck in when the chips are down. As it was the exact opposite when I had my youth team. I only had one person who would help now and again (and the failed Sassco duo*) but it was to no avail as the club folded after 3 years.

* That was Mickey Donkin, who failed to coach the youth team.

Q) After winning the Fair Play Trophy for 2006, Sassco have turned into the "bad boys" of the division with a number of yellow cards, including a major red card in the incident we're not allowed to mention. Why do you think the discipline has suffered?

WATSON: It should be drummed into the players heads by the management/captain - NO DISSENT, I can't remember the last time a Sassco player was booked for a rash challenge (can you?). However our discipline has improved slightly due to the removal of certain players (hotheads) and harmony has been restored to the dressing room.

Q) Sassco famously never train, or warm up before games. What do you think of this?

WATSON: Well I guess its because of work commitments and the six a side league, that Sassco never train, however I think the team should warm up before a match led by the captain / coaches*.

* Simon Mulvaney took the role or pre-match warm up in Portugal.

Q) How have your dealings with the League, opposing teams and the Council been as you tend to be the main point of contact.

WATSON: My dealings with everyone concerned have been ok, just a few problem teams who fail to contact you sometimes and you have to contact them!

Q) As Team Sec. you tend to be given an open reign by General Manager, Sangha. Do you think you have full autonomy to do what your think is best for Sassco, or do you think your hands are tied?

WATSON: Although I've got full power to control Sassco and do what I see fit for the good of the club, I've never had to use it due to the nature of the club structure with most things taken care of by Mr.Sangha. 

Q) What, in your opinion, is the direction that Sassco should go now?

WATSON: Like I said before; the removal of certain individuals has made Sassco stronger, with the team starting to gel under new tactics and management, as you can see by our rise up the table. Keep it up, lads. Lets not waste our opportunity this year (2010) as we have been in this position before and we blew it. We could possibly look for another pitch in the future as Downhill Pitch F has got worse year after year.

Aspirations for 2010: To see Sassco win a trophy and to revive my idea's of a Sassco Youth League and write a book titled The History of Sassco Part I.

Mr Harper has always had his opinions. It was only fair to interview the "Tash" with some hard hitting questions.

Q) In your opinion, you said on many occasions that Sassco need to take the "next step." However, General Manager, Sangha has always said that "he doesn't take it too seriously." and "can't be arsed." Has your opinion changed or if not, what comments do you have?

HARPER: My opinion hasn't changed and will never change until you see the errors of your ways. You have a good but erratic side which has got to get that extra solidity to win things.

Q) You were a failed member of the Portugal Tour 2009, mainly with injury after deciding to jump into a swimming pool, an act Sangha described as "like someone hoying a house into a bath." Were you very disappointed? Are you going to get into shape for the next tour? And were you bemused by the goings on in the tour, for example, 50% of the players stumbling into the hotel 6am on Sunday morning with an 11am kick off time for the final game.

HARPER: Yes I feel as I failed the lads and that is why my weight has gone down a stone* since coming back from Portugal. I will show certain people that I can play, or should I say consistently play at a level they are capable of, even at my age.

* Need to lose more than a stone...

Q) Manager Sangha traipsed a good few miles on the Sunday morning to get you a sandwich in Portugal, but you refused to eat it as it had tomatoes in. Do you regret this?

HARPER: No, I'd still say the same now.

Q) You played in Sassco's first ever game. What do you think about the progress of the team itself. Sangha has always said that technically, the team has stood still for around five years, as shown by various league positions.

HARPER: The team has progressed hugely that is why they are ready to go out to win things with a few more gifted players and also to stop the moaning at each other, even from you Mr Sangha.

Q) You offered your services as Team Coach at the start of the season, but failed to show for many games, before the job was given to Greenwell. What were your reasons for being typically unreliable?

HARPER: Mainly the lack of team members who stuck together, you should have binned the rotten ones who were bringing the other down even if they are decent players. Also your unwillingness to let the squad get bigger so they had to fight for their places. You know my principles on this as much as anyone.

Q) The team still has a core root of players who originated in 2002; Sangha, Greenwell, Gourlay, Dixon, Pearson, Muers, with sporadic appearances from Stubbs and to a lesser extent, Wardle. All teams evolve, but Sangha tends to stay loyal to his regular, reliable players. Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing?

HARPER: I think it's a great idea but you still haven't brought the best out of these players purely by not taking them to the next level. That is what they want if you really asked them to be honest.

Q) You've said you've won plenty of trophies, etc. in the past, but there's no documented proof of this, despite you saying you'd bring the evidence. What are your comments on this statement?

HARPER:  I won everything you can win at a local level at school and after school. Sunderland boys and County player, my trophies and medals at my mothers are still there along with my two County ties and four County cup winners medals. What actual proof are you after Dov and I'll see what I can do.*

* Photos on Facebook.

Q) Who, in your opinion, are the current key players for Sassco.co.uk, and who are the poor additions?

HARPER: Good additions, Gourlay, Smith, Greenwell, Muers and Pearson, they all have given a hell of alot for the cause on the field. Poor additions are the people who have attitude problems or believe they are better than they really are. You know exactly who I'm talking about*.

* No I don't. Please specify.

All in all Dov they are a great bunch of lads with some brilliant characters to boot but it still doesn't stop the fact that you and selected others deserve more than you have actually achieved.

In the first of a series of interviews, Michael Pearson, a long standing, original member of the team, now Assistant Coach, answers some in-depth questions.

Michael was selected by General Manager, Davinder Sangha, to join the team back in it's debut game in 2002 and has remained a regular player in recent years, having been non-regular during the mid-years. And he was recently appointed as Assistant Coach to the team.

Q) William Harper, in one of his many outlandish, Pele type claims, once considered you "the best young player in Sunderland." Do you think this has put pressure on you?

PEARSON: As we all know, William “Tash” Harper has a vast amount of experience and is very knowledgeable when it comes to football. Some might say he even played like Pele in his younger days. So when someone like that makes such a statement about a young player it does place a bit of pressure on a young person’s shoulders. Part of being a footballer is about learning to handle such pressures and I feel I owe a lot to Sassco General Manager, Davinder Sangha, for helping me to develop myself further, not just as a player but also as a person.

Q) You stopped playing for Sassco in the Saturday morning Tyne & Wear League after criticising the team heavily in the press. Manager, Sangha, once famously said, "If there was a Hell, it would have to freeze over" before considering you for the team again. Yet you came back. How do you feel the team has developed, as you are one of the original players?

PEARSON: Sassco originally started out with, on paper, a strong looking squad that could challenge for honours but after a poor start in the TW League things went tits up. Internal bickering between players and management alike looked like Sassco would be another one season team. Somehow, Sassco managed to keep on going for a few seasons but the same problems arose season after season and I became a bit of a non – regular. Sassco have never managed to sustain a settled consistent squad and have had many different coaches* giving it a go with very little success.

However, this season has seen a remarkable change in fortunes for this Sassco squad. Gone are the players who some might say caused problems and in came a few new and old faces. The managerial team has seen yet another change but this time has proved successful...so far.

Being an original member of the Sassco brand from the very first day I have seen many good, bad and very humorous times as well as many, many...many players come and go but I can now see that the team is now realising its true potential. On the field the team is beginning to play consistently well and have had some excellent results so far this season and can hopefully build on that.

Off the field Sassco is one the most organised and well ran clubs in local football. No one can argue with that. Everything from the superb website, trips abroad and links with various north east clubs and it is all down to Dov. He might not have the tactical nous to change a game but he can certainly make the Sassco brand bigger and better.

* Coaches since 2002 have been: Davinder Sangha (several long spells and various interim roles), Dave Watson, Dave Gourlay, Neil Richardson, William Harper and Wayne Greenwell.

Q) Its common knowledge that once you're in a relationship with a girl, your football career effectively ends. What are your comments on this?

PEARSON: When I have stopped playing for Sassco previously it was down to a number of factors. I don’t want to dwell on the past, I just want to look to the future and drive Sassco forward. I take my role with the club very seriously.

Q) How do you feel about having your brother, Anthony, in the team?

PEARSON: I think it’s great to have young talent in the team. I feel he fits in very well into the way we play and has made the left hand side of midfield his own by being in excellent form recently, scoring 5 goals in his last 6 appearances.  Obviously with him being my brother and me being part of the managerial team some might expect favouritism but I would like to go on record to say I am his biggest critic and we often have many disagreements with how we rate each other’s performances in games. No player is favoured more than others. Each game a team is picked that we think can win.

Q) Its quite obvious that General Manager, Davinder Sangha, considers you the true power behind Greenwell's throne (you are currently classed as Assistant Coach) and Sangha has on several occasions attempted to undermine Greenwell with undue pressure and also a whispering campaign to install you as Team Coach. Do you think this is a good or bad thing and what are your comments on the situation?

PEARSON: Greenwell and I are working hard to make Sassco a force to be reckoned with and part of that is to make the squad a strong unit with a united team spirit and any whisper campaigns will undermine our hard work. After our recent run of form I feel as if the management team has answered their critics. Hopefully everyone squad member is on the same page now and we can continue to build on our form going into the New Year. We have competition for places now which is something we have never had before. Times ahead look bright for Sassco and I look forward working alongside Greenwell and hopefully take Sassco onto the next level.

Sassco have been invited, and are likely to take part (in some form or another) in a training experiment involving Newcastle Science City (http://www.newcastlesciencecity.com).

Eric Foch, Lead Innovater, contacted us regarding a "project offering video support to amateurs sportsmen and women, for fun or for training purposes." The prototype will run in February or March. It will be directly pluggable to the Internet, which makes it compatible with the way Sassco.co.uk use the website as a focal point of every activity we do (which is why were were contacted).

I have already described the make up of the team, notably Mark Muers, and it seems the project will be able to help him to improve his fitness.

Early days, but more information will be added in January. Will keep all posted.

Apart from his goal, Emu did f**k all and now owes £24 to Durham FA.

Pearson opened the scoring but I was bricking it as the nice white shirts we were wearing were getting dirtier. I rode over Greenwell and Pearson's instructions for the second half to get stuck in, by asking the team to avoid any sliding tackles or diving headers, as I'll have to bump the machine up to 50 degrees, along with a pre-wash and a super-rinse. No doubt I'll have to spray some pre-wash on and reckon it's going to take at least two washes. Not good. Not good at all.

Anyhow, back to the game. Pearson opened the scoring with an excellent goal as we seemed to be under pressure. Nevertheless, we soon went 2-0 up when Langan scored a superb goal. Everytime we seemed to attack, we looked as if we'd get a goal. Dave Gourlay's shot squirmed wide and I'm not sure what Mark Muers was doing. His shot also went wide.

2-0 at half time and we knew it was going to be difficult. The pitch was a quagmire by now and Country Park Inn, who also featured one of our ex's, Mark Sammut, broke the fragile offside trap to reduce the deficit. They did have the upper hand, but eventually, as time wore on with around fifteen minutes remaining, Muers broke clear and used whatever comedy pace he had to secure the decisive goal. Up until that point, he was wallowing around in the mud like a hippo with an Adidas shirt on.

Greenwell got one right in the balls late on. Everyone was looking at the sidelines expecting me to do something. I just suggested I call his new girlfriend and tell her everything's off, as he hobbled off the pitch, to be replaced by me. I went up front and spent the last ten minutes trying to navigate my way through the mire and at the same time keeping my shirt clean.

Discipline problems again. Muers, Langan and Pearson were all yellow carded. Also, Langan and Pearson are in arrears for £4 each and need to clear this before being eligible to play again. Mickey Pea's been using the oldest trick in the book, by telling Emu that he pays me on Tuesdays. Muers not realising that I haven't seen Pearson on a Tuesday for around three months.

The general discussion after the game was that it was a difficult game, but Dave Smith didn't really have many chances to save. The ones he did - he did well. Our fourth win on the trot. To view the up-to-date table, bypass the one on this site and go directly to the WCFL.org.uk site.

The other thing of note was that, hypothetically, if me and Muers had a love child, we reckoned that he'd look like Wes Brown.

Muer's gets a hat-trick, but Pearson persuades Park View to give the Man-of-the-match to Langan.

Yes, we may have our fancy website; the best around. We do have our over ambitious, but still successful, tours overseas and we may be kitted out in the finest custom gear, including footballs, as well as being uniquely Adidas long before they started releasing kits in the UK. But we always remember our level, which is the lowest amateur level available to adults. This is something that Park View failed to get in their heads when the game was struggling for a referee. We tried long and hard to get a stand-in referee, with no luck.

Eventually it was decided that me, Brian Watson or Greenwell would have the honours. Spanner in the works when Park View refused to play under these circumstances. Pissed me off no end. What other reasons would a team at this level use? No clean running water, no room for spectators in the stands? To much dog turd on the pitch (apart from the players)? It's quite obvious that I don't give a hoot about health and safety. We need to look at the level we are at. If we have to ram two posts into either end of a pitch and run a string along the top, then that's good enough for me.

In the event, Peter Maguire managed to get a referee in, so my rant above was wasted.

Park View had been a problematic side for us in the past, but they were a pale shadow of the team from a few seasons back. The much maligned and diseased Muers put Sassco 1-0 ahead, before his equally rotund partner, Langan, made it 2-0. Greenwell was absent due to work, so Michael Pearson picked the team in a 3-5-2 formation (the inset video shows the beginnings of his historic team talk). It worked, but both wing-backs, Dixon and Pea, struggled, so it was reverted to 4-4-2 when Park View came back strongly.

Second half saw Greenwell turn up and replace Dixon, who spent the second half slagging off Anth Pearson (until he scored). By this time we were 3-0 ahead from Muers before they pulled one back. It didn't cause us any problems as we ran out 7-2 winners. Muers scored three. Langan scored two, while Stoker and Anth Pearson scored the others. Stoker actually provided a running commentary during the penultimate goal, calling everyone "paedo's", "kiddy fiddlers" and "fat c**ts." Tourettes well and truly in force.

Undefeated in four games with a comfortable win.

The players decided to bring a Nike match ball to play with today, much to my disagreement, so much that I threatened to ram a screwdriver into it. Nevertheless, I Photoshopped it out of all the match photos.

Against The Cove, it was an expected win for Sassco as the team are now unbeaten in four games. Greenwell's dilemma was increased when there were returns for Mulvaney and Stoker, however Scott Smith forgot his gear (but was still there). Nevertheless, the team was strong enough.

Muers poked in the opening goal before Anth Pearson nodded in Langan's blast off the cross bar. We had around 10 corners in the first half and probably 25 during the whole game which demonstrated our dominance.

Early in the second half, Langan scored and the game was settled. Two further goals from Gourlay (including an excellent dribble from the half way line, beating the majority of the opponents) and a final one from Langan, gave Sassco a decent 6-0 win. Teams have been hammering The Cove and the main reason we probably didn't add to the scoreline was the poor state of the pitch and our lack of any decent, clinical centre forward.

Muers took a hissy fit when I (with Greenwell's approval) subbed him instead of Dixon in the second half. Greenwell didn't want to make the decisions as no doubt, Emu would release the pictures on Facebook he's been storing. He must have something as there's no conceivable way in which any idiot would play that useless tank up front.

Still. Can't complain too much. A good win.

Another comeback.

Sassco are widely becoming the comeback kings now. Two weeks ago, it was a 3-0 deficit, now it was a 3-1 reverse.

Greenwell, after the traumatic experience of being abused in Portugal, suffering homophobic taunts and seeing General Manager, Davinder Sangha, attempt to undermine him and install his golden boy, Michael Pearson as supremo, now seems to have found his niche. From a large squad the previous week, it was back to Sassco standard with only eleven players. The team suffered a 3-1 deficit at half time, but regrouped and overturned it in spectacular fashion to end the game 5-3. Goalscorers were Greenwell (2), Anth Pearson and Chris Dixon.

A more full report will actually be posted when Greenwell gets his finger out of his arse and his masturbating hand off his penis to write the report. Dirty, filthy brute.

Hylton won 4-2 on penalties.

I'm in preparation to be hauled up and bent over in front of the discipline committee, who will take turns running along the corridor to boot me up the arse.

I can actually picture the scene. In sultry Atlanta, Georgia in the USA. Craig Taylor, amongst the directors of iKobo International, sitting in their plush high-rise office boardroom thinking, "What the f**k is Muers still doing up front?"

Yes, even Sangha and Sassco are accountable. Greenwell's accountable to me and I'm accountable to my paymasters. Luckily, the chances of iKobo executives hopping on a transatlantic flight to position a boot up my arse is unlikely to happen. Until then, the pressure remains on Greenwell despite his six-month fixed contract. He had suspected Swine Flu earlier in the week, so you know if Emu gets it, both fiddlers have been sharing spit in the showers again. Disgusting.

A controversial game. Maybe Sassco have grown up a bit. Greenwell's placing his stamp on the team and pissed Si Mulvaney off by not putting him on directly at half time. I also didn't select Campbell or the returning Langan to bolster an already bloated squad.

Murton might well have stopped the kid's getting any presents at Christmas, as he squared up to the referee once we had let a late 1-0 lead go. Mickey Pearson scored the goal in the last fifteen minutes. Sassco were truly impressive. The squad was solid from the back, with Greenwell learning from his errors last week and playing two solid centre-half's, Stoker and Scott Smith.

The game ended and it was penalties. Gourlay and Stoker scored, but Pearson, Muers and Macca missed.

Can't damn the performance. It was excellent. The pressure seems to be ebbing away from Greenwell, despite the abuse given to him in the last few weeks (mainly from me). Less said about the Murton incident the better. We'll have to take anything we get hit with on the chin.

It was good to see Greenwell taking full control of the coaching side of things. I'll still handle the squad and the logistics, but he does the team line ups, the subs and everything to do with football. I'm a bit distracted these days. Even ran through a red light at Heworth.

Anth Pearson saves Greenwell's job.

Greenwell's job was hanging by a thread and it took Anth Pearson, a player I and Neil Richardson had discarded during our reigns in the past few months, to save it. Pearson was the reason why Greenwell can now relax with a six-month rolling contract which was confirmed after the game.

It looked so different in the first half. Greenwell was readying himself for the axe, with Mickey Pearson lined up to replace him. The team were 3-0 down, with Greenwell's tactics coming under fire for failing to utilise Mark Muers, Mickey Pearson or Mark Middlemiss in centre defence. Instead opting for Paul McConville. Pearson slotted a supposed consolation goal at 3-1, but second half saw the anger come out. Within moments of the restart, Anth Pearson had reduced the deficit to 3-2 and the pre-planned changed came. Both McConville and Dixon were removed, much to their disgust. Dixon actually stormed off and left to go home. Fancy Dan, McConville had a slanging match with me, where I responded that we'd be happy for him to de-list from the squad if he didn't like being subbed. In any case, it was quite obvious that McConville was struggling in centre half, in contrast to his performance in the opening two games in Portugal.

The other questionable point is how the hell Emu still retains his spot up front. It's quite obvious that him and Greenwell have a thing going, because based on this performance, he must be doing special tricks with Crunchies and Maltesers to retain his place.

There was also a welcome return for Gareth Stoker, fresh from the sex offenders list. Oh how we missed him calling everyone(including his own team mates) "Paedos" or "Fiddlers"

Greenwell himself struck the equalising goal. We could have gone on to win - but that was too much to ask.

Soaked! Greenwell's role under threat.

Back to the rainy days in Washington. From the heat and humidity in the South of Portugal, to the cold wet and harsh conditions in the Northeast.

It was obvious what we lacked from Portugal. Cressy and Hembrough, or to be exact, strikers. A team packed with defensive players somehow grabbed two early goals. An in-direct free-kick from Gourlay and then a decent effort from McDermont.

We conceded a goal soon after and struggled from then on. Greenwell announced he was injured on the morning and the team put together was decent enough. A good team talk saw the team perform well from the off.

Unfortunately, Greenwell decided to do a runner midway in the half (with Sassco leading) and failed to return, despite saying he would. His job is definitely under threat and the vultures are hovering. Two more games is all he has to prove if he is up to the task. After that, the Technical Committee of Sangha, Watson, Muers and McDermont will decide if he is to receive the sack (with no pay off).

A replacement Coach has already been lined up in utter secrecy.

2-0 up, then 4-2 and 4-3 down. Poor second half.

Disappointing game, really. We were 2-0 ahead, but succumbed to a quick response and then a difficult second half. Both teams seemed evenly balanced, but Sassco took the lead with a bullet header from McDermont. He spent the rest of the game camped in the opponents half and failed to make any more impact.

The game was very niggly. Dave Gourlay, David Murton and Mark Muers were all yellow carded. Ironically for arguing amongst each other and not for anything else.

The second goal came from excellent work from Murton, as he capitalised on a goalkeeper error to make it 2-0.

Criminally, almost from kick off, McDermont slipped and the lost ball ended up in the back of our net. It was 2-1 at half time, but we were still confident.

The second half saw Arms gain an equaliser from a corner. We seemed to lose it then. The third goal was almost inevitable, but the fourth was a killer. Paul McConville struck a consolation and we should have got back into it. Poor defending saw Arms score the fourth.

Our last game before Portugal. Shame we didn't go there with a win under our belt, despite a reasonably opening half.

Poor defending, but dirtier drop-outs.

Stubba assists with two!

I take the blame for todays defeat. Why? Well, not for the on the pitch theatrics, but because I spent a couple of seasons trying to get Washington CC to join the WCFL. They're actually doing very well. Unbeaten and at the top of the league.

We were on a hiding to nothing. We were missing Murton, Pearson(s), Macca, Tim and rising star, Mark Muers. We managed to rope Dave Smith and Scott Smith in. Stubba also showed up and Titch made a return after missing two games. Dixon and Marky were also there.

First half was reasonable. We conceded early, but then had around three chances which were poorly executed. They then scored their second excellent goal.

Second half was hit and miss. Wayne Greenwell and Anth Langan took over tactical duties and will be doing so from now on. I've said plenty of times that pulling the squad together and getting them there, plus arranging kit, etc. means that the tactical side of things really isn't worked on. Both players want the role, so it should be interesting what ideas they come up with.

We conceded a third and fourth in quick succession. By now we were jaded. After the fifth, Titch got one on his tally with an assist from Stubba. Stubba then got walloped and Gourlay put away the penalty. Our only highlight of the second half was the excellent and battling performance from Scott Smith in defence.

The final score was 6-2. Poor and disappointing, but half expected with such a threadbare squad.

Sassco are beginning to played a refined version of the Dutch "Total Football" system.

Refined as in they do what the f**k they want sometimes. We were missing a few. Steve Conlin was on work experience with his school (cheers for that one Simon). While Tim and Dixon were both injured. Marky Middlemiss was roped into working. There were returns for Campbell, Mr. Murton and Anth Pearson (who refused to come on).

We started reasonably brightly. However, when the first goal was conceded, I remembered my last words in my much listened to team talk; "Don't . . . give . . . away . . . corners . . ." Simon, under pressure from a long(ish) throw, nodded the ball out for the aforementioned corner and they headed it in. After this it was all the usual complaints:

• "Change the system"
• "We're too high up the pitch"
• "We're too deep on the pitch"
• "Get Muers off the pitch"

We settled after this and the game levelled out. We didn't have clear cut chances, but were getting forward easily, but not releasing the ball quick enough. Eventually, Muers managed to scramble the ball into the net after their 'keeper made an error.

I was planning to change things, namely getting Gourlay out of left back where he was "wasted" (private joke - you won't get it) and into the middle. But decided against it. For the second half, a superb opening move nearly led to a goal, but Langan shocklingly lashed it over the bar when clean through. Both Greenwell and Murton missed excellent chances as well (one hit the post). We were punished. A long ball caught McConville fannying about and their player didn't have any problems in looping the ball over Simma, who, incidentally, pulled off some astonishing saves throughout.

We applied pressure and when the ball landed at the feet of Langan, he made no mistake this time and we had equalised at 2-2. The scoring ended there, but in the last crazy ten minutes, we were camped in the box and each corner coming in was cleared off the line, tackled at the last minute or just badly scuffed. An error by Gourlay then saw The Saltgrass sprint up the field and nearly score if it wasn't for Simpson. A scramble at our end, where a goal was certain, was smothered by Simpson.

A good game. My voice is hoarse after spending the game slagging Macca off. Rumours are currently flying about around Macca and Langan leaving. The rumour mill is full drive when it comes to Sassco.

Oh, and I lost a f**king ball again. Some moron kicked it behind the goal and didn't retrieve it. Will be bringing a f**king tennis ball for all away games now.

Two fat ladies on top and two goals a piece.

A few changes for the Park View game. Bri Watson was missing and enjoying a dirty weekend at Lumley Castle and Harper failed to show again. Back to bare bones again, with only myself as substitute. However, everyone who said they were going to be there, did turn up. There were returns for Marky Mark, Dave Gourlay and Si Mulvaney, all who were missing last week.

Plan was to put the two fat golden oldies up front; Langan and Emu. Got to be realistic and say that Park View aren't one of the stronger teams, but both did enough to warrant a return the following week in the same position. Langan fired in two and Emu did the same (with one disallowed).

Muers actually gave Langan a lift in the car and the discussion on the way was that if they were women, would they be slags? Apparently, Muers said he'd bring 10 blokes round to his house (which beats the 5 he already does). The discussion spilled out during pre-match when hypothetically, if some of the team changed into women and sold themselves, the pitch fees would be comfortably paid off. Yet there was a clause put into the change in that our faces wouldn't change (but the bodies would). So the idea of a toothless Greenwell with long hair standing on a street corner swinging his hand bag wouldn't be a decent way of getting any funding in.

Back to the football: Gourlay, wasted at left back, scored a penalty.

We were 3-0 up before Simon decided to pass the ball back to Simma. Sounds simple enough, but it was an elaborate scuffed kick, but referee, Terry Ward, gave a free-kick and Park View scored. We ended the first half 4-1 ahead.

Second half saw Tim come off with injury and me replacing him. Soon after we went 5-1 up when Gourlay's cross was chinned into the back of the net by Emu. They then scored, but no more goals after that.

Tiredness was setting in and both teams suffered. The weather was glorious though and equally more as Sassco took home their first three points.